Between Christmas and The New Year

The week between Christmas and the new year always feels strange to me. A few years ago, I heard someone on the radio say it’s the week that “doesn’t count.” At the time, I laughed in agreement.  Now I’m not so sure. This time at the end of the year is like the space between stories. It’s filled with an odd mix of quiet reflection and eager anticipation… soulful solitude and social gatherings… laughter and tears. During this week, we discard that which was once useful and we create space for what’s yet to come. And while we count down the days, hours, […]

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Divorce Lawyer Ramblings, An Interview with Frank Morris of Divorce Lawyers for Men

I discovered Divorce Lawyers for Men on Instagram. I was intrigued not only by the name, but also the helpful content they published. So, I asked for an interview, and a few months ago Frank Morris took some time out of his busy schedule to talk with me. After working around some technical difficulties, I was finally able to ask my first question: How did you get started in this line of work? “My first major interest in divorce was a complex male custody case back in 1984,” he told me. “And in those days nobody was doing male custody […]

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Your ex does not deserve your anger

Your Ex Does Not Deserve Your Anger

  Wounded women (and other fans of Carrie Underwood), sing it with me: “I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped-up four wheel drive… Carved my name into his leather seeeeats I took a Louisville Slugger to both headlights, slashed a hole in all four tires. Maybe next time he’ll think before he cheats…” Carrie’s song Before He Cheats hit the charts the year I got divorced. It brings to mind not only my ex-husband, but a couple ex-boyfriends as well. Of course I’ve fantasized about taking the kind of revenge described in the song. And according […]

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divorce takes teamwork

When Couples Approach Divorce As a Team

Divorce takes teamwork. In many ways, I think it takes even more teamwork to get divorced than it does to get married or stay married (many marriages survive on autopilot). Divorce brings questions, and issues that need to be worked out. Not at all limited to the following: Who gets the couch? Who pays the medical bills? What happens to the house? Who is going to explain this to the insurance company? Who does the filing? How to tell the kids? Etc. Believe it or not, it doesn’t have to be an ugly process. And it doesn’t have to cost a lot […]

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Badmouthing Your Ex

Why You Should Stop Badmouthing Your Ex

A favorite pastime for those enduring divorce is to sit around with our besties and Trash The Ex.  Badmouthing your ex feels good! The ex-related expletives bring a sense of purpose or confidence.  Perhaps the practice offers a sense of release so that one can proceed with a clearer head.  Either way, it feels good to vent among those who are closest and offer support. I get it.  And I’ve done it.  But I don’t condone it.  At least, not to excess. Let me explain:  I could write an entire blog post about what a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad person […]

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