Reduce the Divorce Rate: Make Marriage Harder.

How can we reduce the divorce rate? It’s a question that lots of people ask. And there are lots of suggested answers… many involve making it harder to get divorced: increase waiting times for a decree, insist on counseling first, go back to needing grounds, etc. Perhaps they’re right. Perhaps less people would get divorced if it was a more arduous process. You know what’s funny to me? All this talk about divorce… and so little talk about marriage. I mean, how can you talk about one without the other? You can’t truly address the divorce rate as a “problem” […]

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I Wish People Would Stop Their Judgment of Divorce.

I encounter a lot of judgment around divorce. Even sometimes from those who are divorced. Lately I’ve been asking for it. I started posting unofficial polls on social media to see what people have to say about the topic. Many people think they have it allllll figured out. As if this “problem” of divorce can be summed up in a couple short sentences. “Couples just give up too easily.”“These young people don’t value commitment.”“Divorce is too easy to get.”“Divorce has become too acceptable.”“We live in a throw-away culture.” It reminds me of a conversation I had several years ago. I […]

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Conflict Is A Canyon

You don’t have to be divorced to know conflict.  We have conflicts with people in all areas of our lives:  our parents, children, coworkers, cashiers, neighbors, friends, friends-of-friends, random people on Facebook… this list goes on… There are different ways to deal with conflict.  Some conflicts can be avoided.  Sometimes people dig their heels in and compete.  Sometimes they back down and accommodate.  Some conflicts are solved via simple compromise (although that usually isn’t ideal). Most of the time, true peace and healing (for both sides) comes from collaboration.  That is, when both sides are willing to sit down and dive […]

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Jessica Hoffmann Family Docket

Interview: I Talked to Jessica Hoffmann, Founder and CEO of Family Docket

Family Docket is a wonderful way to help you stay organized and communicate more effectively during and beyond your divorce proceedings. I connected with Jessica Hoffmann, the program’s founder, on LinkedIn a few months ago. First, we scheduled some time to chat… then, I saw a demo of the program… and then, I recorded an interview with her so we could share this information with you. So, here’s a question:  Do you text with your ex? Most people do. And then they take screen shots of the more “interesting” conversations so they can send the communication to their lawyers. Does this […]

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Personal Boundaries: Why, When and How to Protect Yourself

Recently, Husband #2 and I changed the locks at our home. It was time. Actually, it was long overdue. Like, years overdue. After the upgrade, the deadbolt and the door handle are both the same color. And the door latches without having to pull it extra-hard. And the deadbolt doesn’t stick. Overall, it was worth the effort. But this isn’t a blog about home improvement projects. And I’m not just talking about my house here. This post is about personal boundaries. Like physical boundaries (locks, fences, walls, mountains, rivers, etc), personal boundaries create space around you and provide protection from external threats. […]

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