Reduce the Divorce Rate: Make Marriage Harder.

How can we reduce the divorce rate? It’s a question that lots of people ask. And there are lots of suggested answers… many involve making it harder to get divorced: increase waiting times for a decree, insist on counseling first, go back to needing grounds, etc. Perhaps they’re right. Perhaps less people would get divorced if it was a more arduous process. You know what’s funny to me? All this talk about divorce… and so little talk about marriage. I mean, how can you talk about one without the other? You can’t truly address the divorce rate as a “problem” […]

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How To Deal With Your Ex’s New Partner In Public

You might hate your ex’s new partner.  Lots of people do.  S/he might have been the affair partner that you blame for the demise of your marriage.  You might think this new person is too young, too old, too smart, or not smart enough. You might occasionally encounter your ex’s new partner in a public setting.  And it doesn’t feel good.  It might be an unexpected encounter at the grocery store.  Maybe you work at the same place.  Or this new person might be in attendance at your child’s events. The thought of this fills you with dread.  And the actual occurrence […]

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Oral Surgery and Emotional Wounds (Part 1)

Oral Surgery Sucks (and so does heartbreak) For several years I’ve been monitoring some gum recession in my mouth (a known side effect of orthodontia). Late last year, the issue worsened to the point where I was willing to consult a periodontist. Earlier this month, I had gum graft surgery. I was nervous going in. The novocaine shots were awful. The procedure itself was nerve-wracking. When it was done, I was left with a wound on the top of my mouth and a bunch of new tissue packed and stitched around my lower front teeth. What followed was not fun. I […]

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Is Joint Custody Best?

I’ve seen a lot of headlines about states that are moving towards automatic joint custody for divorced parents. And there’s always a lot of cheers… and a lot of jeers. This is big news in the communities devoted to Fathers’ Rights. Men usually cheer because this prescription will save fathers a lengthy and expensive court battle if they want to share parenting time equally with their ex. The women’s communities are a bit more divided on this issue of 50/50 joint custody. Some women strongly believe their children are not safe with their ex. They insist, for the wellbeing of the children, […]

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no divorce coach needed

Why You Don’t Need a Divorce Coach

  I’m a divorce coach. But do you need a divorce coach?  Nope, you don’t. Don’t get me wrong. Divorce coaches are awesome allies in helping their clients take productive steps to create a better future. They certainly have a lot to offer and can help you feel and do better. But here’s the thing…  Those going through divorce are often bombarded with advice:  call this lawyer, it’s better if you get this judge, move out, don’t move out, empty the bank account, hire a private investigator or a forensic accountant, work with a divorce coach…. The list goes on. I’m […]

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