I know it’s been a while. I’ve had a busy and productive summer, but that’s not the reason I haven’t published anything new. At least, that’s not the only reason. And not only have I not written anything, I also removed some of my previous posts. I’d like to thank those of you who shared, supported and encouraged those posts, as well as the process behind them. Unfortunately my words proved too painful for some, and I thought it best to eliminate the trigger.
As a result, I’ve wrestled with the quote in the image above. It’s an empowering conglomeration of verbiage, isn’t it? It’s empowering… until you think about it too much. Then it just becomes confusing.
Each of us has our own story, and we write that story ourselves. We determine the genre, rating and roles of the characters. In truth, we create our own reality. Most of the time we socialize with others who agree with our story and thus live in a similar reality. And, in that case, all is well.
Problems arise when one tells a story which clashes with the reality of another. Sometimes the issue is ignored and other times sparks fly. Why? Because each of us has a deep emotional attachment to our own tale, and anything that conflicts with our personal truth has the power to shake our reality. An uncertain reality can lead to fear and fear often leads to anger and anger can produce a multitude of outcomes.
Such a thing frequently happens in cases of divorce and separation. Reality is shaken when one partner is asked for a divorce or discovers and affair, addiction, secret life, etc. When a partnership ends, the story takes a turn. I believe it can be a positive and productive turn for all involved, but such an accomplishment requires mindfulness from both sides. Each has to be willing to consider an alternate perspective and conduct him/herself with respect and compassion.
When the world is spinning, it’s natural to hold on to something… people in conflict hold on to their stories. They surround themselves with people who validate those stories and then they further dig their heels in. Meanwhile, the other side will often do the same. The result is a cold battle of tricks, fists, voices, words or even silence. No mindfulness. No communication. No common ground. No resolution. No peace.
In that case, should we stop writing our stories? No, I’m pretty sure that’s impossible unless you’re a Buddhist Monk. We all need some kind of structure in order to function in our world.
Should we stop telling our stories? No, because stories are how we get to know each other.
Should we stop advertising our stories? Perhaps it depends on the strategy behind the advertisement.
How do we find peace? I think peace lies in the acceptance of others’ stories, because we don’t all live in the same reality. If we’re willing to step outside ourselves, consider an alternate perspective and communicate, we can often find a new level of understanding. Once understanding is obtained, we can make informed decisions about whether we want to build bridges or walls. Or, maybe fences.