What did I see in him

What Did I See In Him?

“What did I see in him?” or “What did I see in her?” At the end of a relationship, it’s a common question to ask. Perhaps you heard the story about how my ex-husband used to sit behind me in fourth grade and pull my hair. Throughout middle and high school, he continued to mildly torment me. Once, I came face-to-face with him in our high school hallway, and he asked, “Why are you so ugly?” I married that guy. What the hell was I thinking? I could combine this ancient history with the more recent history of Everything That Went Wrong in our marriage, […]

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total eclipse

Divorce And The Solar Eclipse

I was about ten years old when I learned the definition of a “solar eclipse”. As my teacher described how the sun, moon and Earth align to create the phenomenon, I stared in awe at a photo in my science book. I was amazed, and I wanted to see it in person. Yesterday, I did. Since the event, I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting. Like so many other things in nature, I thought about the eclipse as a metaphor, and I drew parallels to human relationships… The sun and moon are kind of like a divorced couple. You might say they’re the parents […]

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stress and divorce

Stress And Divorce, My Interview With Frank Wood

When it comes to divorce, the existence of stress goes without saying. We talk about it, of course… but we often don’t delve too deeply into the topic. Recently, I became acquainted with Frank Wood, a psychologist with a special focus on stress. We sat down for discussion about stress and divorce, and I’m happy to share it with you today. In the video below, Dr. Wood and I discuss stress as it relates to divorce– when it happens, who it affects, why it matters, how it persists and what you can do about it. Watch the interview to learn more, […]

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relationship regrets

Relationship Regrets… I Won’t Do That Again

Recently, I found myself retelling an old love story and I uttered the words, “I shouldn’t have done that.” And, while it’s true that I shouldn’t have done the thing that I did, I was immediately reminded of the experience that followed the thing and the lessons learned because of the thing. I don’t want to live with relationship regrets. After some thought, I changed my words to say, “I won’t do that again.” The experience caused me to reflect on other potential relationship regrets:  the issues of my past relationships, and the lessons I learned as a result. Following is a list of […]

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crystal ball

A Relationship is a Crystal Ball

What does a relationship have in common with a crystal ball? In the beginning, relationships can be amazing. Everything seems perfect. It’s as if the partnership is like a glorious crystal ball in which a couple can see not only their past and their future  (one can never glimpse the present, it is a fleeting moment), but also themselves.  In the beginning, everything is so clear and so beautiful and so simple. …And then life happens.  Despite the best efforts to keep things under control, tempers flare and emotions run high between those whose hearts are interwoven.  As a result, the crystal ball is marred.  Never again will things be so […]

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