Dear Client, I Trust You

I’m often asked, “If a couple decides to stay married, would you talk them out of it?” And, “What if people come to you for help with their divorce, and you realize it’s better for them to stay married?” And, “Why don’t you work to save marriages?” Well…. Dear Client, I know there are many marriage counselors out there. You likely tried that route. I know how hard it is to accept the end of a relationship. It was probably a painful conclusion. I know people will criticize you for taking the easy way out, for being selfish and not […]

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A Museum of Broken Relationships (yay!)

Stop the shredding! Douse the bonfire! Those heart-breaking mementos from past relationships can now be donated to The Museum of Broken Relationships: “Los Angeles will soon [open] its very own Museum of Broken Relationships to mirror the original museum dedicated to heartbreak in Croatia.“ Although a Museum of Broken Relationships might sound a bit depressing, I see it quite differently. Reading the article linked above filled me with excitement, hope and even peace. As a years-long fan of Separation Ceremonies, I believe its necessary to acknowledge and applaud the existence of the relationship in order to heal. We can’t integrate […]

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The Ballad of My First Car (and marriage)

My first car was a 1989 Chevy Corsica, and her name was Cecilia. I named her (as I do all my vehicles) after a song. In the beginning, Cecilia was mostly blue, but her defective paint peeled off in strips, leaving large patches of gray primer. Due to a couple minor accidents, she also sported a silver bumper and one of her 4 doors was red. The red door had manual controls where the others had powered buttons. A few months into our relationship, my dad painted Cecilia black and gave her a red pinstripe. As a finishing touch, I […]

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Get Close to Pain

I write a lot about forgiveness and letting go because I believe these tactics are critical to bringing us through our pain. But today I want to write about pain itself, and why we all need to get close to pain. Getting close to pain is pretty much the last thing anyone wants to do. We humans avoid it in all kinds of clever ways. We overindulge in food, drugs and sex. We throw ourselves into the role of parent, friend, family member or employee, and in doing so we ignore who we are. We abstain from genuine connection with […]

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Valentine’s Day is Looming. Do You Care?

In less than a week, it will be Valentine’s Day. Tis the season for roses, chocolates, stuffed animals, wine, champagne, poetry, candles, bubble baths, dinner reservations and selfie-happy social couples… Blah. I’m not a fan of romance. At least, not the prescribed consumer-based type of materialism that’s pushed this time of year. I’m a campfire-over-candlelight type of girl, but I wasn’t always. As a child, I bought into the hype of Valentine’s Day. I longed for the day when some handsome prince would give me a heart-shaped box of milk chocolate truffles. Beyond that, I forget the details of the […]

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