My Wish For You (Divorce Season 2016)

It’s that time again:  the new toys have been put away; leftovers have been devoured and decorations packed up.  As the kids head back to school, moms and dads are heading to their attorneys’ offices to begin separation proceedings. It’s true.  Many couples made the decision to divorce towards the end of 2015, but they didn’t want to ruin the holidays for their families.  The result is a predicted 300% increase in divorce inquiries this month. For those who’ve decided to evolve, apart, in 2016, I wish you the following… Self Care–  Make a regular date to take care of […]

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Thanksgiving And Divorce

From the time I was very young, my closest extended family members were a minimum two-hour drive away.  With the exception of vacations, I saw them only on holidays and special occasions. Before my parents divorced, we had a routine for this time of year:  Thanksgiving was always spent with my dad’s family, and we alternated Christmases between my mom’s and dad’s families. After the divorce, I assumed my holiday schedule would remain the same, and it did.  For me, keeping the same routine was important for two reasons: In the beginning, there was a comfort in keeping the same […]

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What Does an Election Have in Common With Divorce?

In the shower one morning, as I was rinsing my hair, I mentally stepped back to notice the chatter going on inside my head.  To my dismay, I realized I was deeply entangled in an imaginary argument with some family members.  About politics.  And what’s worse is that my imaginary argument was the continuation of a real discussion that took place two weeks prior. Two.  Weeks.  Prior. What’s wrong with me? A billion things have happened since then. I highly doubt anyone involved in that discussion is still thinking about it now.  Why am I?  Why aren’t I focusing on […]

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Your Heart… Is Something.

I was 544 words into another blog post when I stumbled across this plan-altering video.  To summarize:  in less than 3 minutes, a little girl explains to her mother why her parents should be friends. She doesn’t simply say, “Don’t fight.”  She puts forth the most heartfelt logic to back up her request: “My heart… is something.  Everyone else’s heart is something too.” Her words touched my heart.  Although this child was requesting that her parents lower the height of their conflict, her reasoning extends far beyond domestic disagreements. After watching the video, I thought about my neighbors.  I thought […]

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Communication Breakdown (in the woods and in the world)

The following tale of communication breakdown isn’t about divorce.  Except, it is.  It’s also about all other relationships… Once upon a time, I went hiking with a group and became separated from one of my companions.  When he didn’t meet the rest of us at the end of the trail, I backtracked, searching for him.  I called his name.  He didn’t answer.  I walked faster.  I searched harder.  I called louder.  No response.  I was on the verge of panic when I heard him yell my name.  “TARA?!”  I darted in the direction of his voice.  As I rounded a curve […]

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