What did I see in him

What Did I See In Him?

“What did I see in him?” or “What did I see in her?” At the end of a relationship, it’s a common question to ask. Perhaps you heard the story about how my ex-husband used to sit behind me in fourth grade and pull my hair. Throughout middle and high school, he continued to mildly torment me. Once, I came face-to-face with him in our high school hallway, and he asked, “Why are you so ugly?” I married that guy. What the hell was I thinking? I could combine this ancient history with the more recent history of Everything That Went Wrong in our marriage, […]

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total eclipse

Divorce And The Solar Eclipse

I was about ten years old when I learned the definition of a “solar eclipse”. As my teacher described how the sun, moon and Earth align to create the phenomenon, I stared in awe at a photo in my science book. I was amazed, and I wanted to see it in person. Yesterday, I did. Since the event, I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting. Like so many other things in nature, I thought about the eclipse as a metaphor, and I drew parallels to human relationships… The sun and moon are kind of like a divorced couple. You might say they’re the parents […]

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crystal ball

A Relationship is a Crystal Ball

What does a relationship have in common with a crystal ball? In the beginning, relationships can be amazing. Everything seems perfect. It’s as if the partnership is like a glorious crystal ball in which a couple can see not only their past and their future  (one can never glimpse the present, it is a fleeting moment), but also themselves.  In the beginning, everything is so clear and so beautiful and so simple. …And then life happens.  Despite the best efforts to keep things under control, tempers flare and emotions run high between those whose hearts are interwoven.  As a result, the crystal ball is marred.  Never again will things be so […]

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Many Years Many Marriages

No Marriage Lasts Forever

With the exception of a few personal favorites, celebrity marriage and divorce isn’t a topic I watch closely. However, a few days ago, I was reading an article that referenced Jennifer Aniston’s Post-Brad interview with Vanity Fair. I wasn’t familiar with the piece, and (given the topic) I was curious. So, I did some searching and found the interview. I read it on my phone, in my kitchen, a few paragraphs at a time, while attempting to make my own dark chocolate almond butter cups (what an adventure that was!). The interview captures Jen as a raw and real human being, finding […]

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Love Like You’ve Never Been Hurt …?

I’ve heard this Love Quote said both ways:   I think they’re both dumb. (That sounds harsh, I know) Of course, I enjoy the pretty pictures and the fantasy sentiment. And I like the often-accompanying messages about dancing like nobody’s watching and singing like you don’t need the money. I get it. It’s all about living from the heart and in the moment. But, the thing about being hurt… well, I think the existence of past and future hurts can enhance a partnership, not detract from it. To quote Glennon Doyle Melton: “Grief is love’s souvenir. It’s our proof that we […]

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