karma

Trust Karma

After the end of a relationship, there often lurks a nagging question about when The Ex will get what’s coming to him/her. You know what I’m talking about, don’t you? That’s right, Karma. When we think about karma, we tend to make assumptions. We hold expectations about what it means, and what it will look like. Overall we ask, “When will justice be served?” Sometimes, it’s a long wait. At least, as far as we can tell from where we stand. And I know it can be frustrating. But, I think the general idea of Karma works. That’s to say, “what […]

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death and divorce

Death and Divorce

I didn’t think I’d spend my Friday morning deeply contemplating the similarities between death and divorce. But that’s what happened… After yoga class, I scanned my Instagram feed and found a screen shot posted by Hello Divorce. The image featured comments from a Facebook post, and the authors clearly do not approve of ending a marriage. In the comments under the image, Modern Split chimed in to say that they too have been criticized for their work. I can relate as well. It’s not uncommon for those of us who work in the divorce field to come under fire from those who […]

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What did I see in him

What Did I See In Him?

“What did I see in him?” or “What did I see in her?” At the end of a relationship, it’s a common question to ask. Perhaps you heard the story about how my ex-husband used to sit behind me in fourth grade and pull my hair. Throughout middle and high school, he continued to mildly torment me. Once, I came face-to-face with him in our high school hallway, and he asked, “Why are you so ugly?” I married that guy. What the hell was I thinking? I could combine this ancient history with the more recent history of Everything That Went Wrong in our marriage, […]

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total eclipse

Divorce And The Solar Eclipse

I was about ten years old when I learned the definition of a “solar eclipse”. As my teacher described how the sun, moon and Earth align to create the phenomenon, I stared in awe at a photo in my science book. I was amazed, and I wanted to see it in person. Yesterday, I did. Since the event, I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting. Like so many other things in nature, I thought about the eclipse as a metaphor, and I drew parallels to human relationships… The sun and moon are kind of like a divorced couple. You might say they’re the parents […]

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crystal ball

A Relationship is a Crystal Ball

What does a relationship have in common with a crystal ball? In the beginning, relationships can be amazing. Everything seems perfect. It’s as if the partnership is like a glorious crystal ball in which a couple can see not only their past and their future  (one can never glimpse the present, it is a fleeting moment), but also themselves.  In the beginning, everything is so clear and so beautiful and so simple. …And then life happens.  Despite the best efforts to keep things under control, tempers flare and emotions run high between those whose hearts are interwoven.  As a result, the crystal ball is marred.  Never again will things be so […]

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