How can we reduce the divorce rate? It’s a question that lots of people ask. And there are lots of suggested answers… many involve making it harder to get divorced: increase waiting times for a decree, insist on counseling first, go back to needing grounds, etc. Perhaps they’re right. Perhaps less people would get divorced if it was a more arduous process. You know what’s funny to me? All this talk about divorce… and so little talk about marriage. I mean, how can you talk about one without the other? You can’t truly address the divorce rate as a “problem” […]
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Love is an Amusement Park
In my last post, I ranted about how you shouldn’t give away your personal power by giving up on love. I’d like to expand on that with the following analogy… Love (and marriage) is like an Amusement Park. Imagine a child receiving the news that s/he will be spending the day at an amusement park. The child is delighted, right? Because amusement parks are exciting! Love is exciting. Picture the child arriving at the gate and eagerly paying the entrance fee. Love also requires you give something in order to enjoy the experience. Loose in the park, the child wonders, […]
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Trust Karma
After the end of a relationship, there often lurks a nagging question about when The Ex will get what’s coming to him/her. You know what I’m talking about, don’t you? That’s right, Karma. When we think about karma, we tend to make assumptions. We hold expectations about what it means, and what it will look like. Overall we ask, “When will justice be served?” Sometimes, it’s a long wait. At least, as far as we can tell from where we stand. And I know it can be frustrating. But, I think the general idea of Karma works. That’s to say, “what […]
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Death and Divorce
I didn’t think I’d spend my Friday morning deeply contemplating the similarities between death and divorce. But that’s what happened… After yoga class, I scanned my Instagram feed and found a screen shot posted by Hello Divorce. The image featured comments from a Facebook post, and the authors clearly do not approve of ending a marriage. In the comments under the image, Modern Split chimed in to say that they too have been criticized for their work. I can relate as well. It’s not uncommon for those of us who work in the divorce field to come under fire from […]
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What Did I See In Him?
“What did I see in him?” or “What did I see in her?” At the end of a relationship, it’s a common question to ask. Perhaps you heard the story about how my ex-husband used to sit behind me in fourth grade and pull my hair. Throughout middle and high school, he continued to mildly torment me. Once, I came face-to-face with him in our high school hallway, and he asked, “Why are you so ugly?” I married that guy. What the hell was I thinking? I could combine this ancient history with the more recent history of Everything That Went Wrong in our marriage, […]
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