Trees preparing to let go

Before Letting Go, Do This

This afternoon, I took a drive. It was a gorgeous day featuring unseasonably warm temperatures, so I opened the sun roof, cranked up some Ani DiFranco tunes and hit the back roads. As I drove, a few leaves floated into my car, and I thought about the beauty of autumn and the lessons the trees teach us about letting go. And I realized, for as long as I’ve appreciated nature’s release of that-which-no-longer serves, there’s an element of the process that I overlooked. A rather important element: Before the trees release their leaves, they stop feeding them. It’s a simple fact that’s […]

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Yes, I Love Divorce. No, I’m Not Anti-Marriage.

I get some funny reactions when I tell people about my work. Most people who’ve been divorced say something like, “I could’ve used you two years ago.” They’re often understanding, supportive and encouraging. And then there are the others… those who are offended or otherwise just plain uncomfortable. Most will stay quiet, while others feel the need to erect a wall. Sometimes they share their own views of marriage and divorce, often using religious references to justify their positions. Occasionally, people interpret my work as a direct threat to their marriage. Couples will grasp hands while one tells me in a […]

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The Voicemail That Launched 1000 Feelings

Last week, I received an interesting voicemail. The caller told me her name and said she was looking at my ad. And then… “…I’m a Bible believer, and I hope you know this, in America we have freedom of religion.” I’m happy to report:  I was indeed aware of this fact. She continued, “And we don’t believe that the Bible teaches that we should look at our feelings and motives, but at the knowledge of truth.” She went on to tell me that I’m living in sin, and I’m helping people to sin against Jesus Christ and his word. And then […]

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Divorce Shaming Drives Me Crazy!

I’ve seen this divorce shaming content before, and today I saw it again:   I really hate this. I hate it enough that I stopped what I was doing in order to write this blog post because I am so hopping mad. I’d really like to curse a whole bunch, but I try not to do that here. I don’t know the profile of the people who share these memes. I don’t know how many are married or what percentage wish they were. I don’t know if their intent in sharing is because they want to celebrate lasting love or if they […]

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wedding cupcakes

What if We Did Divorce Like We Do Marriage?

Previously, I asked the question, “What if we did marriage the way we do divorce?” The situation was somewhat silly, as the post was meant to inspire consideration. My true intention was to introduce a new question: What if we did divorce like we do marriage? Let’s start by reviewing a traditional wedding… when a couple plans their ceremony, they consult with various professionals. It’s likely they’ll visit multiple locations before deciding where to hold the event. They’ll spend some time at a bakery. They’ll price a few potential caterers and florists. Quite often, couples meet with a spiritual leader for […]

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