Your Heart… Is Something.

I was 544 words into another blog post when I stumbled across this plan-altering video.  To summarize:  in less than 3 minutes, a little girl explains to her mother why her parents should be friends. She doesn’t simply say, “Don’t fight.”  She puts forth the most heartfelt logic to back up her request: “My heart… is something.  Everyone else’s heart is something too.” Her words touched my heart.  Although this child was requesting that her parents lower the height of their conflict, her reasoning extends far beyond domestic disagreements. After watching the video, I thought about my neighbors.  I thought […]

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Communication Breakdown (in the woods and in the world)

The following tale of communication breakdown isn’t about divorce.  Except, it is.  It’s also about all other relationships… Once upon a time, I went hiking with a group and became separated from one of my companions.  When he didn’t meet the rest of us at the end of the trail, I backtracked, searching for him.  I called his name.  He didn’t answer.  I walked faster.  I searched harder.  I called louder.  No response.  I was on the verge of panic when I heard him yell my name.  “TARA?!”  I darted in the direction of his voice.  As I rounded a curve […]

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What Your Ex Can Teach You… About You

I’ve long stated that speaking badly about your ex only reflects negatively on you.  And that’s still true:  if you spend lots of time and energy painting your ex as a wholly no-good, dirty-down, stayin’-out-late cocker spaniel… well then, you’ll have to admit you’re the one who committed yourself to a dog.  Isn’t it better for your own ego to (at least publicly)  focus on the positive attributes of the cocker spaniel? That said, there is something to be gained by examining the flaws of an ex.  But it’s not your personal power and self-confidence, it’s a deeper understanding of yourself.  […]

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Let’s Talk About Failed Marriages

If you listen, you’ll hear a lot of talk about failed marriages.  But what’s the real topic in such discussions?  The answer is divorce. Divorce is indicative of a failed marriage (at least for those who choose to use such terminology), but the truth is the marriage failed long before a divorce was set in motion.  Yet nobody talks about those failures because the marriage is still “intact.” Marriage ceremonies feature sacred vows which are supposed to bind two people to each other for as long as they both shall live.  In most cases, some version of “til death do […]

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Marriage is a Womb. Divorce is a Birth.

Marriage is a womb.  Divorce is a birth. This metaphor has been taking form in my head for months… I figured it was time to write it down.  Have you ever considered it this way? In the beginning of a marriage, there is room to grow.  We are warm and protected and the environment is nourishing.  It’s fun… safe… soothing… and comforting to know that we are cared for by another. And then things change. Sometimes we feel too cramped and we reach out in search of greener pastures.  Other times we are extricated from the womb by unforeseen forces. […]

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