Would you get divorced again?
I’d like to think I wouldn’t, of course. However, if I found myself in a situation where I knew it was the best option, I wouldn’t feel bad about doing it again.
We’ve all heard that the divorce rate for second marriages is higher than that for first marriages (source). I wonder, though, if the divorce rate in second marriages varies based on the previous filing status of the couple. As I’ve stated before, I filed for my divorce (quite proudly so), so I’ve been there, done that and I know the drill. If I needed to do it again, it would be a piece of cake (mmm…”divorce party” cake!). That being said, I wonder about those who didn’t willingly participate in their first divorce- those who felt it was something that “happened to them”. With one “failure” (no, I don’t actually see it that way, but others do) under their belts and no knowledge of the ropes, are these individuals more determined to stick it out the second time around? If anyone knows of existing data covering this aspect, please share it.
And how about that Divorce Insurance? What’s the opinion on having that peace of mind the second time around? Personally, I think it’s a good idea in theory… buuutttt, the premiums seem kinda high when I figure something like that in with the rest of my monthly bills. It might be a pretty good marketing opportunity for those wedding retailers to team up with the divorce insurance people and offer discounts or a free policy with the purchase of …. some of those things people buy for weddings….
Such a good question. I think I would, if it came to a point where I didn’t think there was any other option and things were – as they say – irretrievably broken. I go with the ‘never say never’ mantra in this, and in getting married again, generally, I guess. We’ll see what happens!
Thanks. It’s true- you never know. I wonder how often people consider this question…
I’ve always assumed that the higher divorce rates with second marriages had to do with people (A) making the same mistakes in their 2nds as they did in their 1sts; and (B) maybe rushing into the 2nd marriages too fast and with unrealistic expectations that it was going to be so much different or better than their 1st marriages. Now, I kind of think that maybe once you’ve survived a divorce, the whole process just doesn’t seem like such a big deal to do again. “Failure” or not, making it through one divorce shows you that it can be done, and maybe that makes it seem like a less daunting option to do again.
My sense is that “the same mistakes” and “unrealistic expectations” are probably high-ranking reasons for a bad second marriage… and, it’s likely that “it’s less daunting this time” is a reason for the divorce. Sounds like quite the Perfect Storm.
The bigger question is would I get married again – very iffy on that and if I did, would I work out a pre-nup – quite likely because I see the assets I have now as belonging ultimately to my children and I’d want to preserve that.
Having been through divorce, I know now that it is the answer to some situations and it is far better to be alone and happy than married and miserable. So next time, it won’t take me so many years to make the decision.
Divorce is quite the learning experience, isn’t it? It allows us to draw a much better road map on which to move forward.