Book: The Two Roads to Divorce

2 roads

The Two Roads to Divorce was written by Lenard Marlow, who has assisted in the divorce process both as an attorney and a mediator.  Experience taught him much, and, being familiar with both roads to divorce, he has done an excellent job communicating his knowledge to the reader.

The book is written in the second-person narrative and reads almost like a series of short letters to a person embarking on the Journey of Divorce.  The relatively short chapters begin with a title and an appropriate quote.  Example:

CHAPTER 3

WHOSE FAULT IS IT?

Husbands and wives do not get divorced because they are good people or bad people.  They get divorced because they are different people. (I love this quote)

Throughout the book, Mr. Marlow guides the reader through the various facets of divorce and the choices people will have to make.  He discusses the experiences of husbands and wives throughout the marriage, differing realities and the stories we tell ourselves.  He addresses the well-meaning friends and family who are all-too-eager to offer advice.  He talks about the ways divorcing individuals might lose confidence in themselves and each other, and he illustrates what might happen when people opt for self-help and the “protection” of hired attorneys.

My favorite aspect of the book is how easy it is to identify with and absorb the information.  Mr. Marlow has a way of pointing out the obvious (which isn’t so obvious in the heat of the process):  “Lawyers do not know what is best for you.  Nor are they necessarily wise.  They are just people who went to law school.”  He exposes legal jargon and illustrates the flaws in an adversarial approach.  He asks important questions analogous to the traditional divorce process:  “Would you shop in a supermarket if you knew that upon adding up your purchases, the clerks at each of the checkout counters will give you a different answer (amount) as to what you owe?”

The Two Roads To Divorce is a good reference for individuals (especially both individuals in a couple) as they begin the process or if they feel overwhelmed by the road they chose.  It can also be a helpful resource for supportive friends and family members.  Check it out for yourself, or give it as a gift.

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