Taking Responsibility

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“Accept responsibility, and power will be given to you. Taller trees grow from lower ground” – Tao Te Ching

A few days ago, Boyfriend and I got into a discussion about divorce and blame. We discussed the common tactic of assigning fault to explain a divorce: “she was a bitch” and “he was an asshole”. That makes it so easy, doesn’t it? And in the complicated world of divorce, we relish the easy explanation- especially if it absolves us of guilt.

It was Gandhi who suggested “you must be the change you wish to see in the world”, and I believe that’s true. In an effort to “be the change”, I’ve decided to publicly take responsibility for my own role in the meltdown of my marriage.

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Divorce Goals

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“If you don’t know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else.” ~Lawrence J. Peter

I always thought the word “goals” sounded rather nerdy (never mind the fact that I’ve always been a bit of a nerd). Of course, I understand the value of having a plan… it was just the G-word that was a turnoff. So, historically speaking, I haven’t been one to write down my G-words and draw a physical map of how to reach them. But then I discovered Zig Ziglar. I’ve been listening to him in my car for years. He’s one of my favorite travel companions. And Zig has really helped me get over my issues with the G-words.

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I Ditched The Rings!

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After nearly five years of my wedding/engagement rings gathering dust in a box, I finally sold them.

For nearly five years, I intended to sell them… I intended to gather all the paperwork for the diamond and make a handsome little profit. But I didn’t. Because I’m lazy. I wasn’t desperate for money and therefore I didn’t care… I mean, it’s not like I’m the one who paid for them, right?

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The D-Spot Teleclass

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On March 23, Meredith and I participated in a teleclass with Laura Campbell, founder of the D-Spot community for divorced/divorcing women. If you didn’t get a chance to join us live, you can listen here. The recording is just under an hour long.

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Who Built The Wall?

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Yesterday, I hopped on Facebook and discovered this in my news feed:

“i am amazed that what hindered me from having the relationship that i always wanted was myself and all that i couldn’t see clearly. it opens my eyes to other areas where i feel like i can’t achieve what i dream of, feeling like i can’t find the source of the giant wall between me and my goals, and makes me swallow a little hard realizing that the wall-builder is me.”

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