“I don’t like being told that I can ‘do better’. That’s not comforting; it’s insulting.” The words came from Stacy, a friend who recently ended a cohabitory (not a word, I know) relationship. The end had been forecast for some time, yet it still brought anger and tears when it came. The ache persisted beyond the moving-out process and the hole in Stacy’s life is still a painful reality. “If he’s so awful, that means I have bad taste,” she complained. “And what’s wrong with me that I spent so much time with someone who is so far beneath me?” […]
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Separation and the Gift of Self
In the summer of 2006, my dad helped me set up a stereo in my post-marital-separation residence. The best thing about the stereo was that it featured a turntable, and I had plenty of old vinyl to spin. After making sure that everything was hooked up correctly, I dropped the needle onto Pink Floyd’s Wish You Were Here, then sat down on the floor (I had no furniture). When the music enveloped me, I released my body backward, onto the hardwood, and laughed out loud. I think my father worried that I was crying, but my emotion-of-the-moment was far from […]
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