A couple weeks ago, I made another solo trip to Cape Cod (more on that later). While driving, I listened to And One Last Thing… by Molly Harper to keep me awake. I love a good divorce story, and this one contained just the right amount of tragedy, comedy and hope. The book tells the story of Lacey Terwilliger, a southern housewife who is shocked to discover that her husband has been sleeping with his secretary. When the tears subside and the anger sets in, Lacey deals with the situation by making a very public (and hilarious!) announcement to her […]
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Because of My Divorce
I just realized, my wedding anniversary is this weekend. It’s hard to remember who I was all those years ago as I prepared to say “I do.” It’s hard to imagine who I’d be right now if things hadn’t turned out the way they did. Surely, I wouldn’t be writing this blog. And that causes me to reflect… Things I’ve done since my divorce that I (probably) would not otherwise have done: Bought a house (by myself) Finished my bachelor’s degree Became The Divorce Encouragist Became a divorce coach Got a Mac (and then another…) Learned to snowboard Wrote a book […]
Continue readingHealing the Individual
“I don’t like being told that I can ‘do better’. That’s not comforting; it’s insulting.” The words came from Stacy, a friend who recently ended a cohabitory (not a word, I know) relationship. The end had been forecast for some time, yet it still brought anger and tears when it came. The ache persisted beyond the moving-out process and the hole in Stacy’s life is still a painful reality. “If he’s so awful, that means I have bad taste,” she complained. “And what’s wrong with me that I spent so much time with someone who is so far beneath me?” […]
Continue readingSeparation and the Gift of Self
In the summer of 2006, my dad helped me set up a stereo in my post-marital-separation residence. The best thing about the stereo was that it featured a turntable, and I had plenty of old vinyl to spin. After making sure that everything was hooked up correctly, I dropped the needle onto Pink Floyd’s Wish You Were Here, then sat down on the floor (I had no furniture). When the music enveloped me, I released my body backward, onto the hardwood, and laughed out loud. I think my father worried that I was crying, but my emotion-of-the-moment was far from […]
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What a Crescent Lunge Taught Me About Love
One Saturday morning in a yoga class, I rose into a crescent lunge and prepared to bend back, possibly far enough to peek at the wall behind me. “Sink into your hips, and build the pose,” my teacher instructed. She explained how important it is to ground down in order to feel the energy rise up. She stressed strength in the core as she told us to grow taller on the inhale and open our hearts as we exhaled. (in yoga, as in life, “Inhale: grow taller. Exhale: go deeper.) “Don’t just jack your back,” she cautioned. “You’ll hurt yourself.” […]
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