til death do us part

Rethinking “‘Til Death Do Us Part”

For the most part, people don’t get married with the intention of getting divorced.  Everyone knows the odds intends to beat them.  Every couple thinks their union is strong enough to last “’til death do us part.”  What if I told you that everyone is right?  Everyone succeeds. A few weeks ago, I met a young man on a mountain top.  As we chatted, he told me a little about his spiritual journey. He was an atheist until the day he sensed the presence of God while observing animals at play.  From that point on, things changed for him, and now […]

Continue reading

There’s Always Another You

A woman stands before a display of small boxes in a store aisle, staring at a familiar face. A female shopper approaches.  “Excuse me,” she says, pointing to a box.  “Is that you?” “It used to be,” the woman confesses, then quickly walks away. I’ve been watching the Netflix Original Series, Grace and Frankie.  The show stars Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin as seventy-year-olds forced to start over after their husbands left them for each other.  There are many reasons I like the show (perhaps I’ll write more about it another time), but for now I want to focus on […]

Continue reading

What Your Ex Can Teach You… About You

I’ve long stated that speaking badly about your ex only reflects negatively on you.  And that’s still true:  if you spend lots of time and energy painting your ex as a wholly no-good, dirty-down, stayin’-out-late cocker spaniel… well then, you’ll have to admit you’re the one who committed yourself to a dog.  Isn’t it better for your own ego to (at least publicly)  focus on the positive attributes of the cocker spaniel? That said, there is something to be gained by examining the flaws of an ex.  But it’s not your personal power and self-confidence, it’s a deeper understanding of yourself.  […]

Continue reading

Did S/he Cheat? Does it Matter?

Several years ago I had the feeling my partner was having an affair.  When I questioned him, he told me I was crazy, insecure and possessive.  During that period of our relationship, he did a lot of screaming while I did a lot of crying. Did he cheat on me?  I couldn’t prove it, and he insisted he was innocent, so I stayed in the relationship. Since then, I’ve heard many similar stories from people who desperately want to believe the best about their partners.  Sometimes they justify, “it was only an emotional affair.”  Sometimes they fall back on The […]

Continue reading

Should Divorce Gifts Be a Thing?

In a recent article for DivorcedMoms.com, I stated my preferred “No Shower, No Gifts” policy to go into effect in the event that I get married again. I’m a grown woman with a house full of stuff, and I imagine I’d marry a man of similar description. Why would we need gifts? Ok, maybe something silly like face socks, but certainly nothing of great substance. A friend argued against my suggestion. “Presents are always appropriate,” Missy insisted. Several days later, I asked Missy how she feels about the idea of giving gifts for a divorce. “I’d do it for a […]

Continue reading