Good Point: Dating After Divorce

During a discussion with some coworkers today, a good point was brought up:  “Don’t stay married because you think you won’t be able to find anyone else.  The market is flooded with people who have left bad relationships.”  It’s true.  And I had not thought of it quite like this before (thank you, Long-Haired-Girl-In-The-Skirt).

With divorce being so prevalent these days, the Sea of Available Suitors is ripe for the picking (I just mixed fish and fruit analogies and that’s kinda odd).  Here’s the best thing:  the divorced people flooding the dating scene are ready to make some changes:  to be smarter, more responsible and not make the same mistakes again.   This is, of course, the optimistic way of looking at it.  I know there are plenty of negaholics who will take inventory of the scene and readily warn that the market is flooded with sad souls lugging around distressing emotional baggage and anyone in his/her right mind would be smart to steer clear.  Sure, you could say that too…  But let’s compromise and be realistic:

  • People coming out of a divorce need some time and space to adapt.
  • Previous experience will influence their thoughts and actions (just like anyone else).
  • Most likely, they’ve learned something from their past and are looking to start fresh, make appropriate (appropriate!) compromises and strive for a healthier relationship.
  • This is not bad!  (especially for someone in this situation searching for another who “gets it”)

So, back to the original point:  If you’re pro-partnership but stuck in a miserable partnership, the alternative is not a lonely existence of isolation and celibacy (unless that’s your choice).  There is hope.  There are others with similar experiences… with kids… careers… broken hearts (and broken dishes)…  The possibility exists that someone “out there” will understand you and your situation.  And (when the time is right) that person will meet your needs in a way that an unsuitable spouse cannot.

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One Comment

  1. I half agree with you…

    About half of them have learned something and are going in a better direction.
    The other half are probably still trying to find their rock bottom.

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