“I don’t like being told that I can ‘do better’. That’s not comforting; it’s insulting.” The words came from Stacy, a friend who recently ended a cohabitory (not a word, I know) relationship. The end had been forecast for some time, yet it still brought anger and tears when it came. The ache persisted beyond the moving-out process and the hole in Stacy’s life is still a painful reality. “If he’s so awful, that means I have bad taste,” she complained. “And what’s wrong with me that I spent so much time with someone who is so far beneath me?” […]
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Guest Post: Let The Writing Begin
This guest post comes from Jackie Pilossoph. I “met” Jackie last week (in the Twitterverse) and quickly fell in love with her blog, Divorced Girl Smiling. I knew immediately that hers was the kind of post-divorce story I want others to know about. Enjoy!
Continue readingStories Influence Circumstances
Tonight, I mentioned to my chiropractor that I often slouch. He told me to stop saying that. It was yet another reminder of how much we are affected by the stories we tell. Perhaps I won’t slouch so much if I stop describing myself that way.
I wrote about this topic in my last post, and I think it’s worth expounding upon: Our circumstances are the products of the stories we tell ourselves. We can alter or reinforce our feelings with these stories. And yet, how often do we check in with those tales to verify their validity and make a determination about whether or not a particular story is appropriate for where we want to go in life?
Continue readingDivorce Resolutions
New Year’s offers everyone the opportunity to make a fresh start. With the stress of the holidays behind them, many unhappily married individuals will seek legal counsel in the coming year. It’s a big step that usually comes after months or years of utter misery. While the first step is often celebratory, we shouldn’t forget that The Road To a Decree can be long, windy and exhausting. Some personal rules, developed with a healthy ending in mind, can have a positive impact on the process. To those who have resolved to Start Over Without Him/Her in 2013, I’d like to suggest some additional resolutions, specific to your divorce…
Continue readingDivorce Vows
It’s been nearly three years since the first time I wrote about divorce ceremonies. I still haven’t given up hope that this ritual will one day be a normal part of our culture— especially given the existence of companies such as A NEW DAWNe.
Earlier this week, I found this quote from Mahatma Gandhi and I shared it on my Facebook page:
“I offer you peace. I offer you love. I offer you friendship. I see your beauty. I hear your need. I feel your feelings.”
When I posted it, I suggested that the words could easily be vows in a divorce ceremony. The proposal spawned a bit of a debate.
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