Discovering The Other Woman

It’s been eleven years since I found out about The Other Woman in my marriage… On June 6, 2006, I went to my soon-to-be-ex-husband’s office to sign some documents pertaining our divorce. It had been about two weeks since we’d decided to separate, and since The Decision, all of our discussions had been productive.    After our signatures were notarized, I felt relieved and excited. “Let’s have dinner to celebrate,” I suggested.   My husband shook his head.   “C’mon!” I tried again. “We signed the papers. We’re getting closer to a divorce.”   He shook his head again. “No, […]

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Did S/he Cheat? Does it Matter?

Several years ago I had the feeling my partner was having an affair.  When I questioned him, he told me I was crazy, insecure and possessive.  During that period of our relationship, he did a lot of screaming while I did a lot of crying. Did he cheat on me?  I couldn’t prove it, and he insisted he was innocent, so I stayed in the relationship. Since then, I’ve heard many similar stories from people who desperately want to believe the best about their partners.  Sometimes they justify, “it was only an emotional affair.”  Sometimes they fall back on The […]

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Book: The Chump Lady Survival Guide to Infidelity

When I first visited the Chump Lady web site, I assumed Tracy Schorn was just another scorned and forever-bitter man-hater. But then I started digging deeper into the site. In her digital library, I found much wit, wisdom and profanity. I nodded, laughed and cried. And I decided to buy her book. The Chump Lady Survival Guide to Infidelity, How to Regain Your Sanity After You’ve Been Cheated On is a soft book. Literally. It’s not fuzzy, but the matte cover has a silky-smooth quality to it that I’ve yet to notice in other paperbacks. But I don’t think you should […]

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Affairs, Apologies and Opinions

Last month, Rielle Hunter apologized for her affair with John Edwards.  She also announced a new book— a kind of amendment to her first book, in which she annotates her regrets.  The announcement was met with mixed reviews. Some cheered for Ms. Hunter’s public act, while others suggested her effort was too little, too late.  Personally, I’m of the opinion that her apology to the masses was a courageous move.  I do question her sincerity, given the fact that she stands to profit from this endeavor.  … And I also think that what we think doesn’t much matter. Once upon […]

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Book: And One Last Thing…

A couple weeks ago, I made another solo trip to Cape Cod (more on that later). While driving, I listened to And One Last Thing… by Molly Harper to keep me awake.  I love a good divorce story, and this one contained just the right amount of tragedy, comedy and hope. The book  tells the story of Lacey Terwilliger, a southern housewife who is shocked to discover that her husband has been sleeping with his secretary.  When the tears subside and the anger sets in, Lacey deals with the situation by making a very public (and hilarious!) announcement to her […]

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