Tag Archives: ex

Your ex does not deserve your anger

Your Ex Does Not Deserve Your Anger

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  Wounded women (and other fans of Carrie Underwood), sing it with me: “I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped-up four wheel drive… Carved my name into his leather seeeeats I took a Louisville Slugger to both headlights, slashed a hole in all four tires. Maybe next time he’ll think before he cheats…” Carrie’s song Before He Cheats hit the charts the year I got divorced. It brings to mind not only my ex-husband, but a couple ex-boyfriends as well. Of course I’ve fantasized about taking the kind of revenge described in the song. And according […]

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Badmouthing Your Ex

Why You Should Stop Badmouthing Your Ex

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A favorite pastime for those enduring divorce is to sit around with our besties and Trash The Ex.  Badmouthing your ex feels good! The ex-related expletives bring a sense of purpose or confidence.  Perhaps the practice offers a sense of release so that one can proceed with a clearer head.  Either way, it feels good to vent among those who are closest and offer support. I get it.  And I’ve done it.  But I don’t condone it.  At least, not to excess. Let me explain:  I could write an entire blog post about what a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad person […]

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relationship regrets

Relationship Regrets… I Won’t Do That Again

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Recently, I found myself retelling an old love story and I uttered the words, “I shouldn’t have done that.” And, while it’s true that I shouldn’t have done the thing that I did, I was immediately reminded of the experience that followed the thing and the lessons learned because of the thing. I don’t want to live with relationship regrets. After some thought, I changed my words to say, “I won’t do that again.” The experience caused me to reflect on other potential relationship regrets:  the issues of my past relationships, and the lessons I learned as a result. Following is a list of […]

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Time for love

I Thought It Was Love…

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I thought it was love. In the moment, I was sure of it. Time stood still as I fantasized about the two of us on the couch, on the beach and in the bathtub. It was a glorious vision that filled me with warmth and contentment. Gently, I reached out to caress the shiny cover of the book that beckoned to me. It seemed to be gleaming with sparkles of divinity. I held it and flipped through the pages, captivated by the words that kissed my gaze. I must have this, I thought. I pulled it closer and began to pivot toward […]

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ex love

Ex Loves …Why Don’t We Speak of Them?

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Do you ever mention your ex loves? I’m asking because a few days ago, I witnessed the following exchange: Husband (to a group of people):  Someone once threw me a surprise party… Wife (with genuine curiosity):  Who was it that threw the party? Husband (hesitates): it… well, that was a long time ago. I assumed the party-thrower was an ex. In the moment, the group laughed and made jokes about the event happening in another era. The conversation moved forward without another glitch. Later, I gave the scenario more thought. I wondered why the husband was so hesitant to speak the name of […]

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