Divorce Shaming Drives Me Crazy!

I’ve seen this divorce shaming content before, and today I saw it again:   I really hate this. I hate it enough that I stopped what I was doing in order to write this blog post because I am so hopping mad. I’d really like to curse a whole bunch, but I try not to do that here. I don’t know the profile of the people who share these memes. I don’t know how many are married or what percentage wish they were. I don’t know if their intent in sharing is because they want to celebrate lasting love or if they […]

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Nonviolent Communication

My latest educational obsession is Nonviolent Communication (NVC). Since last November, I’ve attended several workshops, read a few books and joined a local practice group. I believe NVC can save the world. Marshall Rosenberg, PhD literally wrote the book about NVC. It’s called Nonviolent Communication, and the third edition is the one most recently made available. In the book, Rosenberg points out the ways humans typically (and non-effectively) communicate:  often we don’t accurately separate our thoughts and feelings… we aren’t in touch with our needs… we make a lot of judgements and comparisons… we deny responsibility… According to Rosenberg, we […]

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wedding cupcakes

What if We Did Divorce Like We Do Marriage?

Previously, I asked the question, “What if we did marriage the way we do divorce?” The situation was somewhat silly, as the post was meant to inspire consideration. My true intention was to introduce a new question: What if we did divorce like we do marriage? Let’s start by reviewing a traditional wedding… when a couple plans their ceremony, they consult with various professionals. It’s likely they’ll visit multiple locations before deciding where to hold the event. They’ll spend some time at a bakery. They’ll price a few potential caterers and florists. Quite often, couples meet with a spiritual leader […]

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Resource: The Divorce School

On April 1, 2016 The Divorce School opened for its first semester. This fabulous resource is a collaborative effort between Divorce Magazine and DivorcedMoms.com and brings a wealth of information to those navigating the divorce process. I’m honored to be a member of The Divorce School Faculty, and my segment focuses on Overcoming The Shame of Divorce. But shame is only one of many topics covered in the program, students of the school can choose to learn from experts on the topics of Fraud, Infidelity, High Conflict Separations, Legal Issues, Alienation, Blended Families and more. The Divorce School is free […]

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Marriage is Work

“Marriage is work.” We hear the words all the time (as if to suggest those who divorce aren’t working hard enough). As a result of the comparison, I often liken marriage to a job:  first you have to prove yourself worthy, then you get hired and everyone rejoices because a vacancy has been filled.  There is hope and optimism that the team will move forward and accomplish great things together. You have to show up every day, even when you don’t exactly feel like it. You have to use the skills you have as well as learn new ones as […]

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