The Right Thing is… Painful

A few weeks ago, I watched the movie, The Vicious Kind.  In a closing scene, an adulterous and alienating father stops short of confessing and apologizing to his youngest son. “Sometimes people do things that they know are wrong,” he began.  “But they just do them anyway.  Because to do the right thing would be too painful.” His explanation grabbed me and left me contemplating the words for days.   It wasn’t entirely a new concept for me.  For years, I’ve been touting the phrase, “hurting people hurt people.”  But… this was… different. “To do the right thing would be too […]

Continue reading

Compassionate Acronyms

Quick, think of the person you dislike the most in the world. Do you have a name in mind? Has this person hurt you? Hurt your family? Said awful things to/about you? Did this person lie to you? Stab you in the back? Steal from you? All of the above?

How do you feel when you think about this person? What thoughts or emotions get stuck on “repeat” when you hear that name? Are you livid? Seething? Broken? Are you wondering, How could you? Or, Why would you? Do you feel powerful? Powerless? Do you feel hateful?

Continue reading
Badmouthing Your Ex

Why You Should Stop Badmouthing Your Ex

A favorite pastime for those enduring divorce is to sit around with our besties and Trash The Ex. The ex-related expletives bring a sense of purpose or confidence. Perhaps the practice offers a sense of release so that one can proceed with a clearer head. Either way, it feels good to vent among those who are closest and offer support.

I get it. And I’ve done it. But I don’t condone it. At least, not to excess.

Continue reading