You don’t have to be divorced to know conflict. We have conflicts with people in all areas of our lives: our parents, children, coworkers, cashiers, neighbors, friends, friends-of-friends, random people on Facebook… this list goes on… There are different ways to deal with conflict. Some conflicts can be avoided. Sometimes people dig their heels in and compete. Sometimes they back down and accommodate. Some conflicts are solved via simple compromise (although that usually isn’t ideal). Most of the time, true peace and healing (for both sides) comes from collaboration. That is, when both sides are willing to sit down and dive […]
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Interview: I Talked to Jessica Hoffmann, Founder and CEO of Family Docket
Family Docket is a wonderful way to help you stay organized and communicate more effectively during and beyond your divorce proceedings. I connected with Jessica Hoffmann, the program’s founder, on LinkedIn a few months ago. First, we scheduled some time to chat… then, I saw a demo of the program… and then, I recorded an interview with her so we could share this information with you. So, here’s a question: Do you text with your ex? Most people do. And then they take screen shots of the more “interesting” conversations so they can send the communication to their lawyers. Does this […]
Continue readingPersonal Boundaries: Why, When and How to Protect Yourself
Recently, Husband #2 and I changed the locks at our home. It was time. Actually, it was long overdue. Like, years overdue. After the upgrade, the deadbolt and the door handle are both the same color. And the door latches without having to pull it extra-hard. And the deadbolt doesn’t stick. Overall, it was worth the effort. But this isn’t a blog about home improvement projects. And I’m not just talking about my house here. This post is about personal boundaries. Like physical boundaries (locks, fences, walls, mountains, rivers, etc), personal boundaries create space around you and provide protection from external threats. […]
Continue readingWhy You Should Stop Badmouthing Your Ex
A favorite pastime for those enduring divorce is to sit around with our besties and Trash The Ex. Badmouthing your ex feels good! The ex-related expletives bring a sense of purpose or confidence. Perhaps the practice offers a sense of release so that one can proceed with a clearer head. Either way, it feels good to vent among those who are closest and offer support. I get it. And I’ve done it. But I don’t condone it. At least, not to excess. Let me explain: I could write an entire blog post about what a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad person […]
Continue readingStitching My Life Together
This post isn’t about divorce. Not precisely, anyway. When I was married the first time, my then-husband expected me to perform more domestic “wifely duties,” and I refused. I still refuse (thankfully, Husband #2 is much more accepting of this trait). My house isn’t spotless. I don’t enjoy cooking. I don’t feel at home in the garden. In general, I find domestic chores to be an annoyance, at best. But today something funny happened. I was changing the sheets on my bed. After wrestling with the fitted sheet (a task which caused me to curse more than once), I spread […]
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