A Museum of Broken Relationships (yay!)

Stop the shredding! Douse the bonfire! Those heart-breaking mementos from past relationships can now be donated to The Museum of Broken Relationships: “Los Angeles will soon [open] its very own Museum of Broken Relationships to mirror the original museum dedicated to heartbreak in Croatia.“ Although a Museum of Broken Relationships might sound a bit depressing, I see it quite differently. Reading the article linked above filled me with excitement, hope and even peace. As a years-long fan of Separation Ceremonies, I believe its necessary to acknowledge and applaud the existence of the relationship in order to heal. We can’t integrate […]

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The Ballad of My First Car (and marriage)

My first car was a 1989 Chevy Corsica, and her name was Cecilia. I named her (as I do all my vehicles) after a song. In the beginning, Cecilia was mostly blue, but her defective paint peeled off in strips, leaving large patches of gray primer. Due to a couple minor accidents, she also sported a silver bumper and one of her 4 doors was red. The red door had manual controls where the others had powered buttons. A few months into our relationship, my dad painted Cecilia black and gave her a red pinstripe. As a finishing touch, I […]

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Get Close to Pain

I write a lot about forgiveness and letting go because I believe these tactics are critical to bringing us through our pain. But today I want to write about pain itself, and why we all need to get close to pain. Getting close to pain is pretty much the last thing anyone wants to do. We humans avoid it in all kinds of clever ways. Perhaps we overindulge in food, drugs and sex. Or we might throw ourselves into the role of parent, friend, family member or employee, and in doing so we ignore who we are. We can also abstain from […]

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The Sweet Spot (in Yoga and Divorce)

Saturday morning, my yoga teacher kicked off our class with a discussion about Ganesh, the Hindu god with the elephant head. Ganesh is the God of New Beginnings (which is why I have a statue of him in my office), but my teacher honed in on a different aspect of Ganesh:  his love of sweets. “His trunk points to the bowl of sweets in his hand,” she told us. “Ganesh reminds us to search for the sweetness in life, to find that Sweet Spot.” I wondered if she would give us candy at the end of class, but I was […]

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Winter Storms and Divorce

You could call the period following a divorce an “emotional winter”. I think it’s appropriate for several reasons:  the cold, the darkness, the difficulty in venturing outside. You might even say it’s hard to recognize those who were once familiar because they wear many layers and masks. Winter is a difficult season for many, and this past weekend Winter Storm Jonas made sure I wouldn’t forget that. But Jonas brought more than strong winds and impassable roads. The storm (like a separation) brought gifts as well… First (for many of us), there was the non-option of staying inside. The heavy […]

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