Why You Don’t Need a Divorce Coach

no divorce coach needed


I’m a divorce coach. But do you need a divorce coach?  Nope, you don’t.

Don’t get me wrong. Divorce coaches are awesome allies in helping their clients take productive steps to create a better future. They certainly have a lot to offer and can help you feel and do better.

But here’s the thing…  Those going through divorce are often bombarded with advice:  call this lawyer, it’s better if you get this judge, move out, don’t move out, empty the bank account, hire a private investigator or a forensic accountant, work with a divorce coach…. The list goes on. I’m sure you know what I mean.

They mean well. But you don’t actually need to follow all of that advice.

Because the only expert you really have to consult is you.

That’s right:  YOU.

You’re the expert when it comes to yourself and your family. You know what your needs are (if you don’t, schedule some quiet time to listen to yourself). And as the expert, you can decide if and when to bring any additional subject-matter experts on board.

Allow me to digress for a moment to talk about yoga:  I don’t need to go to a yoga studio to take classes. I’ve been practicing yoga for nearly two decades and I know the poses well enough to do them in my living room. And yet I pay to go to a studio where I can fall out of one-legged poses in front of an audience. That’s because I know myself. I know that 75% of the time I wouldn’t practice at home– I’d probably sleep later instead (especially if the cats are feeling cuddly). And I know that I prefer the presence of an instructor to give me guidance and adjust my poses if I’m not doing them correctly (I don’t want to hurt myself). I began my yoga journey in my living room, but my practice has gotten much better since I started going to a studio. It’s my choice to make that investment because I know me. I know how I am, what I want, how I want to improve, and what’s important to me.

Same thing goes for hiring a divorce coach. Or a private investigator. Or even a lawyer.

You don’t have to do it. And if you do, it’s a good idea to know why you’re doing it.

By all means, educate yourself about your options. But don’t blindly follow the advice that others so often want to give about what you “should” do. Your journey is unique. Your journey is yours.

You know you. If you know that you feel stuck, you’re spinning your wheels, or you need better boundaries, then you might benefit from working with a divorce coach. But you might not want to, and that’s OK too.  This is your process.  And you have a lot of control over it.

Best wishes to you.


P.S.  If you think you might like to work with a coach, we can explore the possibility together. You can schedule a consultation here.




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