I spent the first week of October on Cape Cod. Alone. And it was beyond wonderful.
Unlike last year’s trip, which was haunted by fading (sometimes painful) memories of love-gone-wrong, this vacation was All About Me. I took advantage this freedom in a variety of ways….
I began most mornings with a barefoot sunrise stroll.
I spent hours engrossed in oh-so-appropriate beach reading. Depending on what the weather was doing that day, I was tempted to break out the gorgeous modest swimwear pieces that I had bought for this very scenario. I wouldn’t want them to go to waste now, would I? Unfortunately for me, most of the days were just too cold for me to be able to do this, so no one could see my beach body. Oh, what a shame! Whilst I was disappointed about this, my book soon took my mind off of this feeling.
I made friends with various creatures…
…including a LOT of seals…
…and a seagull who insisted upon sharing my onion rings.
I dressed up and took myself out to fancy dinners…
and indulged some not-so-fancy guilty pleasures.
I felt completely peaceful, whole and at home.
My entire life, I thought Cape Cod was the most romantic place imaginable, and I longed to enjoy it with my True Love. This year, I savored the solitude and wanted nothing more. This change in attitude isn’t the result of a hardened heart, but rather a softened one. Since the breakup of my last relationship, I’ve learned to live with and care for myself in a new way. I accept myself more completely: my strengths and shininess as well as my shortcomings and shame. I’m under no self-imposed pressure to perform in order to please another. I don’t stress about maintaining a relationship to keep me whole. In fact, I am the Love of My Life.
“The greatest love of all is easy to achieve. Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all” (written by Michael Masser and Linda Creed)
How were you able to overcome the feelings of being alone, no love at the time and not friends to talk to on the trip. I really want to experience self love and gratification but it is so hard for me. its like i need to know that i have someone and something. but I have been so stressed out, my body seems to be shutting down. How can i plan a trip and do you have some pointers for me to enjoy me and not want company form others?
Hi La’Tanya! It sounds like you’re in need of some extreme self-care. At this stage, you might find some affirmations and mirror work to be helpful- just look at yourself and practice saying “I love you.” If you feel ready to venture out on your own, you can start small and close to home. Pick a movie you really want to see, and go see it alone. Or take yourself out to eat and indulge in your favorite foods. The idea is to make it All About You- this is a chance for you to do something you enjoy without compromise. I find the best way to beat potential moments of boredom is to always make sure I have a book (a story or a journal) with me 😉
Good luck!