Why Marry? …continued.

And then there’s the other reason women (mainly women on this one) get married: the glamor. Am I wrong? We see it all the time- on TV, at the supermarket, in the shopping centers… the illustrated illusion of a beautiful bride and groom gleefully vowing to initiate Happily Ever After.

Aren’t all little girls raised to believe in that Fairy Tale wedding? We envision ourselves growing up, meeting Prince Charming and tying the proverbial knot. We want to get our hair professionally mangled into a glamorous up-do. Acrylic nails perfectly sculpted and polished to perfection… Something old, new, borrowed, blue… Champagne toasts in the back of a limo! Surrounded by our closest BFFs!! A cake so exquisite we don’t want to eat it. A gown that costs more than our first cars. The first dance… the flowers…. the choices… the gift registry….the garter… the memories in the making! Oh, what a fantastical dream….

It’s too bad that more people don’t work harder to squash those ridiculous dreams of little girls. Or at least, someone should tell them that all that shit costs money- lots of it. And forever isn’t fantastic when you’re drowning in debt. That proverbial knot might end up being a noose. The prom should’ve taught us to be kinder to our hair. Flowers die- especially when prematurely severed from their roots. A limo is nothing more than a fancy gas guzzler. Cookie dough is often a more pleasurable treat… Oh, and- those smiling guests who are happily snapping photos? They actually think your Special Day is a big pain in the ass.

The wedding industry has hired itself some superb marketers. It’s almost enough to make one forget that weddings and marriage have nothing to do with each other. Almost enough to make one think you really can invest in Forever by purchasing the perfect pillow on which to present your pricey new bling. There were times when I’ve embarked on such a daydream after encountering an issue of Bride magazine on a newsstand…. and then I remember: that’s just marketing.

Fairy tales are poisonous.

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  1. Oh. My. God. THANK YOU(!!!) for finding my blog (my life, incomplete) and commenting on it. To think I could have missed out on yours! I have only read your “about me” section and this 2-part post thus far, and I’m busting out of my skin with excitement! We are so like-minded it’s ridiculous – and your writing is fantastic! I’m not nearly as funny as you are, but I’ve documented my similar views on marriage on my blog. (If you stop by again, read “A Beautiful Love.”) I, too, married for the wrong reasons. Mostly because it seemed like the next thing to do. Like, “if I’m going to waste my twenties in a relationship with him, I might as well get a ring out of it.” What I haven’t written about yet is that my parents offered me and my ex $25,000 to put down on a house, or they could pay for a wedding. So we did the logical thing – y’know, had a big beautiful wedding. At least I can say, 7 years later in a mountain of debt after having to short sell my marital home, that it was a fun a party and I looked pretty!

    I can’t wait to read the rest of your posts, and hopefully share some experiences with each other. Thank you for entitling me to your opinion!

  2. you’re amazing Tara! People put their noses in the air because my husband used a recycled diamond for my engagement ring and had a jeweler design something he knew I’d love and I think it cost under three hundred dollars. I know people who financed engagement rings, had their parents take out home equity loans to pay for them to have $4000 worth of pictures taken, $25K worth of shitty food, and $900 for a limo to drive them to the airport so they can take the honeymoon that after asking people to contribute money towards, they ended up taking a loan out for it. why start your life in debt when there are better options?

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