relationship regrets

Relationship Regrets… I Won’t Do That Again

Recently, I found myself retelling an old love story and I uttered the words, “I shouldn’t have done that.” And, while it’s true that I shouldn’t have done the thing that I did, I was immediately reminded of the experience that followed the thing and the lessons learned because of the thing. I don’t want to live with relationship regrets. After some thought, I changed my words to say, “I won’t do that again.” The experience caused me to reflect on other potential relationship regrets:  the issues of my past relationships, and the lessons I learned as a result. Following is a list of […]

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Love Like You’ve Never Been Hurt …?

I’ve heard this Love Quote said both ways:   I think they’re both dumb. (That sounds harsh, I know) Of course, I enjoy the pretty pictures and the fantasy sentiment. And I like the often-accompanying messages about dancing like nobody’s watching and singing like you don’t need the money. I get it. It’s all about living from the heart and in the moment. But, the thing about being hurt… well, I think the existence of past and future hurts can enhance a partnership, not detract from it. To quote Glennon Doyle Melton: “Grief is love’s souvenir. It’s our proof that we […]

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Meant to Be

What’s Meant To Be…

Was it Meant To Be? The night before I began my senior year of high school, my redheaded boyfriend and I broke up. I was heartbroken (funny how these things look so much different after a couple decades). About a week later, I received a wisdom-filled letter from my great aunt. “If it’s meant to be, it will,” she wrote. “And if it’s not, nothing will make it work.” She also suggested I take time to lick my wounds and focus on One Day At A Time while my heart healed. I found comfort in her words. Eventually I ran out of […]

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Trees preparing to let go

Before Letting Go, Do This

This afternoon, I took a drive. It was a gorgeous day featuring unseasonably warm temperatures, so I opened the sun roof, cranked up some Ani DiFranco tunes and hit the back roads. As I drove, a few leaves floated into my car, and I thought about the beauty of autumn and the lessons the trees teach us about letting go. And I realized, for as long as I’ve appreciated nature’s release of that-which-no-longer serves, there’s an element of the process that I overlooked. A rather important element: Before the trees release their leaves, they stop feeding them. It’s a simple fact that’s […]

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What Does an Election Have in Common With Divorce?

In the shower one morning, as I was rinsing my hair, I mentally stepped back to notice the chatter going on inside my head.  To my dismay, I realized I was deeply entangled in an imaginary argument with some family members.  About politics.  And what’s worse is that my imaginary argument was the continuation of a real discussion that took place two weeks prior. Two.  Weeks.  Prior. What’s wrong with me? A billion things have happened since then. I highly doubt anyone involved in that discussion is still thinking about it now.  Why am I?  Why aren’t I focusing on […]

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