Tag Archives: pain

Love Like You’ve Never Been Hurt …?

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I’ve heard this Love Quote said both ways:   I think they’re both dumb. (That sounds harsh, I know) Of course, I enjoy the pretty pictures and the fantasy sentiment. And I like the often-accompanying messages about dancing like nobody’s watching and singing like you don’t need the money. I get it. It’s all about living from the heart and in the moment. But, the thing about being hurt… well, I think the existence of past and future hurts can enhance a partnership, not detract from it. To quote Glennon Doyle Melton: “Grief is love’s souvenir. It’s our proof that we […]

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Get Close to Pain

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I write a lot about forgiveness and letting go because I believe these tactics are critical to bringing us through our pain. But today I want to write about pain itself, and why we all need to get close to pain. Getting close to pain is pretty much the last thing anyone wants to do. We humans avoid it in all kinds of clever ways. Perhaps we overindulge in food, drugs and sex. Or we might throw ourselves into the role of parent, friend, family member or employee, and in doing so we ignore who we are. We can also abstain from […]

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The Right Thing is… Painful

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A few weeks ago, I watched the movie, The Vicious Kind.  In a closing scene, an adulterous and alienating father stops short of confessing and apologizing to his youngest son. “Sometimes people do things that they know are wrong,” he began.  “But they just do them anyway.  Because to do the right thing would be too painful.” His explanation grabbed me and left me contemplating the words for days.   It wasn’t entirely a new concept for me.  For years, I’ve been touting the phrase, “hurting people hurt people.”  But… this was… different. “To do the right thing would be too […]

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Where To Put The Love?

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Raise your hand if you’ve seen the movie, Magnolia. (Just kidding, I can’t see your hands anyway.) It’s been several years since I’ve seen the flick, yet it remains one of my all-time favorites. Call me crazy, I really like exquisitely sad movies that expose the raw, real, messed-upedness of our humanity. It’s a beautiful thing. One of my favorite scenes is this one…

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