Trees preparing to let go

Before Letting Go, Do This

This afternoon, I took a drive. It was a gorgeous day featuring unseasonably warm temperatures, so I opened the sun roof, cranked up some Ani DiFranco tunes and hit the back roads. As I drove, a few leaves floated into my car, and I thought about the beauty of autumn and the lessons the trees teach us about letting go. And I realized, for as long as I’ve appreciated nature’s release of that-which-no-longer serves, there’s an element of the process that I overlooked. A rather important element: Before the trees release their leaves, they stop feeding them. It’s a simple fact that’s […]

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The First Day of Spring

On Sunday I saw massive lines outside Rita’s Italian Ice. The throngs of people waiting in 50-degree weather in Central PA was indicative of a long-awaited annual tradition:  free icy deliciousness in celebration of The First Day of Spring. This holiday of sorts represents more than flavored ice. The first day of Spring is also known as the Equinox, referring to the equal amount of day and night experienced across the planet twice a year. For those of us in the Northern Hemisphere, our days have been getting longer since December, and now that we’ve passed the Equinox, we’ll enjoy […]

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Should Divorce Gifts Be a Thing?

In a recent article for DivorcedMoms.com, I stated my preferred “No Shower, No Gifts” policy to go into effect in the event that I get married again.  I’m a grown woman with a house full of stuff, and I imagine I’d marry a man of similar description.  Why would we need gifts? A friend argued against my suggestion.  “Presents are always appropriate,” Missy insisted. Several days later, I asked Missy how she feels about the idea of giving gifts for a divorce. “I’d do it for a close friend who needed support,” she told me.  I peppered her with more inquiries […]

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Marriage is a Womb. Divorce is a Birth.

Marriage is a womb.  Divorce is a birth. This metaphor has been taking form in my head for months… I figured it was time to write it down.  Have you ever considered it this way? In the beginning of a marriage, there is room to grow.  We are warm and protected and the environment is nourishing.  It’s fun… safe… soothing… and comforting to know that we are cared for by another. And then things change. Sometimes we feel too cramped and we reach out in search of greener pastures.  Other times we are extricated from the womb by unforeseen forces. […]

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A Post-Divorce Letter to The Ex

The subject of today’s post comes from an old friend of mine and regular reader of Relative Evolutions.  A few years ago, Lauren made the difficult decision to leave her marriage.  Today, she reflects on her journey in the following letter to The Ex…   Dear You, Three years have gone by since I rocked your world, blindsided you, and probably broke your heart. Please know that my decision to leave was largely based on my discontent with myself, and had little to do with you.  I firmly believe that if you don’t love yourself, you can’t possibly love someone […]

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