Conflict Is A Canyon

You don’t have to be divorced to know conflict.  We have conflicts with people in all areas of our lives:  our parents, children, coworkers, cashiers, neighbors, friends, friends-of-friends, random people on Facebook… this list goes on… There are different ways to deal with conflict.  Some conflicts can be avoided.  Sometimes people dig their heels in and compete.  Sometimes they back down and accommodate.  Some conflicts are solved via simple compromise (although that usually isn’t ideal). Most of the time, true peace and healing (for both sides) comes from collaboration.  That is, when both sides are willing to sit down and dive […]

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Dis-Solving Conflict From Within, An Interview with Henry Yampolsky

I encountered Henry Yampolsky for the first time in a Facebook Group where he posted a link to a workshop he was offering. I was intrigued by his work in conflict resolution, and a few months later we met in person. Upon learning more about Henry’s story and the work he does, I was eager to delve deeper and help him spread his message. I think his approach can be especially powerful for those going through divorce (as well as for the professionals helping those going through divorce). As you’ll hear in the video below, Henry used to be a trial […]

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Gina’s Diary: My Parents Keep Fighting

I’ll tell you more about Gina soon. For now, I’d like to focus on her problem. I only recall a handful of times when I was awakened in the night by my parents’ arguments, but that was enough. I remember the irritation, the stress (sometimes it lasted for days afterward), the curiosity… I remember being wide awake after the fight was over and feeling like I’d never get back to sleep. There were times when I wanted to get up and make a trip to the bathroom or to the kitchen for a drink, yet I was afraid to move from my bed because I didn’t want my mom and dad to know I hadn’t slept through their turmoil.

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Saturday’s Song: Why You Gotta Be So Mean?

A few days ago, I wrote about the importance of having compassion for your enemies. Remember, when someone acts in a way that brings you misery, s/he is doing so for his/her own reasons which have very little to do with you.

Today’s song further addresses this topic and brings to light another important message: each of us is responsible for our own behavior. We have a choice of how to respond and how to regard the bullies in our lives. We allow ourselves to go down that path, or we can stop the cycle and refocus. We have the choice to invest our energy in ourselves, to chase our dreams and overcome those who push us around.

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Conflict Doesn’t (Have To) Mean “Carnage”

I once was told that children should be read lots of fairy tales. The idea is not to teach children that the Good Guys always win, but rather to teach them that’s the way it’s supposed to be.

After much consideration, I’ve decided I have a problem with this. The older I get, the less I believe in The Good Guys vs. The Bad Guys. It’s not always that simple. And, did you ever realize that *your side* is always the *good* side? I wonder if most of us understand that our opponents are just as certain that they’re the ones who are *right* (Religion is the easiest example. Divorce is another good one).

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