Valentine’s Day is Looming. Do You Care?

In less than a week, it will be Valentine’s Day. Tis the season for roses, chocolates, stuffed animals, wine, champagne, poetry, candles, bubble baths, dinner reservations and selfie-happy social couples… Blah. I’m not a fan of romance. At least, not the prescribed consumer-based type of materialism that’s pushed this time of year. I’m a campfire-over-candlelight type of girl, but I wasn’t always. As a child, I bought into the hype of Valentine’s Day. I longed for the day when some handsome prince would give me a heart-shaped box of milk chocolate truffles. Beyond that, I forget the details of the […]

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Self-Love and My Solo Vacation

I spent the first week of October on Cape Cod.  Alone.  And it was beyond wonderful. Unlike last year’s trip, which was haunted by fading (sometimes painful) memories of love-gone-wrong, this vacation was All About Me.  I took advantage this freedom in a variety of ways….     I began most mornings with a barefoot sunrise stroll.   I spent hours engrossed in oh-so-appropriate beach reading.   I made friends with various creatures…   …including a LOT of seals…   …and a seagull who insisted upon sharing my onion rings.   I dressed up and took myself out to fancy […]

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Because of My Divorce

I just realized, my wedding anniversary is this weekend.  It’s hard to remember who I was all those years ago as I prepared to say “I do.”  It’s hard to imagine who I’d be right now if things hadn’t turned out the way they did.  Surely, I wouldn’t be writing this blog.  And that causes me to reflect… Things I’ve done since my divorce that I (probably) would not otherwise have done: Bought a house (by myself) Finished my bachelor’s degree Became The Divorce Encouragist Became a divorce coach Got a Mac (and then another…) Learned to snowboard Wrote a book […]

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Healing the Individual

“I don’t like being told that I can ‘do better’.  That’s not comforting; it’s insulting.” The words came from Stacy, a friend who recently ended a cohabitory (not a word, I know) relationship.  The end had been forecast for some time, yet it still brought anger and tears when it came.  The ache persisted beyond the moving-out process and the hole in Stacy’s life is still a painful reality. “If he’s so awful, that means I have bad taste,” she complained.  “And what’s wrong with me that I spent so much time with someone who is so far beneath me?” […]

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Separation and the Gift of Self

In the summer of 2006, my dad helped me set up a stereo in my post-marital-separation residence.  The best thing about the stereo was that it featured a turntable, and I had plenty of old vinyl to spin.  After making sure that everything was hooked up correctly, I dropped the needle onto Pink Floyd’s Wish You Were Here, then sat down on the floor (I had no furniture).  When the music enveloped me, I released my body backward, onto the hardwood, and laughed out loud. I think my father worried that I was crying, but my emotion-of-the-moment was far from […]

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