Badmouthing Your Ex

Why You Should Stop Badmouthing Your Ex

A favorite pastime for those enduring divorce is to sit around with our besties and Trash The Ex.  Badmouthing your ex feels good! The ex-related expletives bring a sense of purpose or confidence.  Perhaps the practice offers a sense of release so that one can proceed with a clearer head.  Either way, it feels good to vent among those who are closest and offer support. I get it.  And I’ve done it.  But I don’t condone it.  At least, not to excess. Let me explain:  I could write an entire blog post about what a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad person […]

Continue reading

Interview with Laura Lawson Boatman, Creator of PEP

I’ve said it a hundred times:  divorce is a human process with a legal document that comes with it. Navigating the “human” part requires more than a lawyer. That’s where friends, family and therapy come in. Also, Positive Energy Psychology (PEP) can help too In the video below, Laura Lawson Boatman will teach you all about it. I first heard the words “positive energy psychology” last summer while relaxing on my deck and listening to an interview with Bruce Lipton, PhD. He talked about the ways in which our attitudes can influence our overall health and how we can change our mental […]

Continue reading

Cries For Help: The Dance We Do…

A baby cries for attention because he has a need that he can neither understand nor communicate. “Wah… Wahhh…WAAHHH!!!” Immediately, others come running with remedies: bottles, toys, bouncy seats, rocking chairs… “There, there, Infant,” they tell him. “You are safe.  You are loved.” The baby will then gulp their milk, inspect their toys and delight in the attention that’s paid him… Until he feels satisfied, and again goes to sleep. As humans, we are programmed to make a fuss when something is wrong.  As we grow from infancy we become more verbal, however many times we remain unable to articulate […]

Continue reading

Divorce Goals

“If you don’t know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else.” ~Lawrence J. Peter

I always thought the word “goals” sounded rather nerdy (never mind the fact that I’ve always been a bit of a nerd). Of course, I understand the value of having a plan… it was just the G-word that was a turnoff. So, historically speaking, I haven’t been one to write down my G-words and draw a physical map of how to reach them. But then I discovered Zig Ziglar. I’ve been listening to him in my car for years. He’s one of my favorite travel companions. And Zig has really helped me get over my issues with the G-words.

Continue reading

Defenses = Damage

Have I ever mentioned that I’m one of those nerdy people who listens to audiobooks in the car? I am. Recently, I was listening to an old Deepak Chopra book and he was discussing the concept of aging- or rather, not aging. He stated that healthy relationships are a key to our longevity. And when discussing how to maintain healthy relationships, he suggested letting down our defenses. Because when you are defenseless, you are invincible (what? Isn’t that like letting people walk all over you?). When you are defenseless, there is nothing to attack (Oh, ok… now I get it).

In contemplating this, I am reminded of an argument I overheard several years ago…

Continue reading