Let’s Talk About Failed Marriages

If you listen, you’ll hear a lot of talk about failed marriages.  But what’s the real topic in such discussions?  The answer is divorce. Divorce is indicative of a failed marriage (at least for those who choose to use such terminology), but the truth is the marriage failed long before a divorce was set in motion.  Yet nobody talks about those failures because the marriage is still “intact.” Marriage ceremonies feature sacred vows which are supposed to bind two people to each other for as long as they both shall live.  In most cases, some version of “til death do […]

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Did S/he Cheat? Does it Matter?

Several years ago I had the feeling my partner was having an affair.  When I questioned him, he told me I was crazy, insecure and possessive.  During that period of our relationship, he did a lot of screaming while I did a lot of crying. Did he cheat on me?  I couldn’t prove it, and he insisted he was innocent, so I stayed in the relationship. Since then, I’ve heard many similar stories from people who desperately want to believe the best about their partners.  Sometimes they justify, “it was only an emotional affair.”  Sometimes they fall back on The […]

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Should Divorce Gifts Be a Thing?

In a recent article for DivorcedMoms.com, I stated my preferred “No Shower, No Gifts” policy to go into effect in the event that I get married again. I’m a grown woman with a house full of stuff, and I imagine I’d marry a man of similar description. Why would we need gifts? Ok, maybe something silly like face socks, but certainly nothing of great substance. A friend argued against my suggestion. “Presents are always appropriate,” Missy insisted. Several days later, I asked Missy how she feels about the idea of giving gifts for a divorce. “I’d do it for a […]

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If a Good Divorce is Possible, Why Not Stay Married?

I hear the question all the time, “Well, if two people can have an amicable divorce then why don’t they stay married?” I suppose it’s a reasonable question. In order to answer it, I ask that you take a mental voyage with me.  Let’s go to a playground full of frolicking children… It’s a hot, sunny day and a group of kids are having a discussion. Child #1 points to the sky.  “That cloud looks like a bowl of ice cream.” Child #2 exclaims, “I love ice cream!” Child #3, in a sing-songy voice, replies, “Then why don’t you marry it?” […]

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What if We Did Marriage Like We Do Divorce?

According to the letter of the law, marriage and divorce are much the same:  it all boils down to a legal document. That being said, let’s imagine what life would be like if we treated the marriage process the same way we do the divorce process… “Hi, I’m Max Attorney,” the man introduced himself. Annabelle reached out and shook his hand.  “Nice to meet you.  I’m Annabelle Engaged.”  She followed Max into a spacious office and took a seat in front of his mahogany desk. “Now,” Max began.  “What brings you here today?” Annabelle cleared her throat and straightened her […]

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