Communication Breakdown (in the woods and in the world)

The following tale of communication breakdown isn’t about divorce.  Except, it is.  It’s also about all other relationships… Once upon a time, I went hiking with a group and became separated from one of my companions.  When he didn’t meet the rest of us at the end of the trail, I backtracked, searching for him.  I called his name.  He didn’t answer.  I walked faster.  I searched harder.  I called louder.  No response.  I was on the verge of panic when I heard him yell my name.  “TARA?!”  I darted in the direction of his voice.  As I rounded a curve […]

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til death do us part

Rethinking “‘Til Death Do Us Part”

For the most part, people don’t get married with the intention of getting divorced.  Everyone knows the odds intends to beat them.  Every couple thinks their union is strong enough to last “’til death do us part.”  What if I told you that everyone is right?  Everyone succeeds. A few weeks ago, I met a young man on a mountain top.  As we chatted, he told me a little about his spiritual journey. He was an atheist until the day he sensed the presence of God while observing animals at play.  From that point on, things changed for him, and now […]

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There’s Always Another You

A woman stands before a display of small boxes in a store aisle, staring at a familiar face. A female shopper approaches.  “Excuse me,” she says, pointing to a box.  “Is that you?” “It used to be,” the woman confesses, then quickly walks away. I’ve been watching the Netflix Original Series, Grace and Frankie.  The show stars Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin as seventy-year-olds forced to start over after their husbands left them for each other.  There are many reasons I like the show (perhaps I’ll write more about it another time), but for now I want to focus on […]

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What Your Ex Can Teach You… About You

I’ve long stated that speaking badly about your ex only reflects negatively on you.  And that’s still true:  if you spend lots of time and energy painting your ex as a wholly no-good, dirty-down, stayin’-out-late cocker spaniel… well then, you’ll have to admit you’re the one who committed yourself to a dog.  Isn’t it better for your own ego to (at least publicly)  focus on the positive attributes of the cocker spaniel? That said, there is something to be gained by examining the flaws of an ex.  But it’s not your personal power and self-confidence, it’s a deeper understanding of yourself.  […]

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What is a Successful Marriage?

I used to think the general consensus was that a “successful marriage” meant the couple stayed together until parted by death. Perhaps that’s the most prevalent assumption, but it seems I was wrong in thinking timing was the primary definition of marital achievement. A few weeks ago, I was discussing marriage and divorce with a friend who believes our culture is too accepting of divorce. She told me that even people in her church family have divorced without social consequence in their community of worship. (I hypothesize the divorced might feel differently) “I think it’s really sad when people can’t […]

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