Marriage is a Womb. Divorce is a Birth.

Marriage is a womb.  Divorce is a birth. This metaphor has been taking form in my head for months… I figured it was time to write it down.  Have you ever considered it this way? In the beginning of a marriage, there is room to grow.  We are warm and protected and the environment is nourishing.  It’s fun… safe… soothing… and comforting to know that we are cared for by another. And then things change. Sometimes we feel too cramped and we reach out in search of greener pastures.  Other times we are extricated from the womb by unforeseen forces. […]

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What About “Unconscious Coupling?”

I have to say, I’m ecstatic about Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin’s “conscious uncoupling”.  While the public reactions are mixed, the general buzz is wonderful.  As a culture, we NEED to talk more about this stuff.  Let’s keep it rolling please.  Let’s bring divorce out of the shadows and continue to discuss and dissect it.  It is, after all, a fact of life for millions. …But with all the existing coverage of the topic, I didn’t sit down today to write about conscious uncoupling (which is really just a fancy way of saying GOOD Divorce™).  Quite the opposite, in fact. […]

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Someone Asked Me To Marry Them. And I Said “Yes!”

No, I’m not getting married.  I’ve agreed to preside over a self-uniting ceremony for a friend and her fiance.  Not a bad gig for a Divorce Encouragist, huh? I met Ellen several years ago, when we were both legally married.  Since then, we’ve each signed “I don’t anymore,” reclaimed our birth names, and moved on (and up) in a variety of ways. When Ellen met Andrew, circumstances were quite forbidding in terms of a serious relationship.  Yet, amazingly, the stars aligned for them.  After more than a year of domestic bliss, he popped the question, and she agreed to become […]

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The Stories of Our Lives

Once upon a time, there lived a couple named Jack and Janice. Jack and Janice were both well-educated individuals with high-paying jobs. They lived in a beautiful home they built themselves, nestled in the woods and surrounded by hiking trails they’d cut with their own tools.

After eight years of marriage, Jack made friends with a younger woman at the gym.

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A Successful Relationship

During a recent interview on Family Matters radio show, Jill Egizii asked me what advice I’d give to people looking to have a successful marriage. I gave the typical response: it takes work (the relationship has to be on the Priority List) and it takes planning (what are the expectations?). And I told a story about a conversation I had last Saturday…

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