What if We Did Marriage Like We Do Divorce?

According to the letter of the law, marriage and divorce are much the same:  it all boils down to a legal document. That being said, let’s imagine what life would be like if we treated the marriage process the same way we do the divorce process… “Hi, I’m Max Attorney,” the man introduced himself. Annabelle reached out and shook his hand.  “Nice to meet you.  I’m Annabelle Engaged.”  She followed Max into a spacious office and took a seat in front of his mahogany desk. “Now,” Max began.  “What brings you here today?” Annabelle cleared her throat and straightened her […]

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Marriage is a Womb. Divorce is a Birth.

Marriage is a womb.  Divorce is a birth. This metaphor has been taking form in my head for months… I figured it was time to write it down.  Have you ever considered it this way? In the beginning of a marriage, there is room to grow.  We are warm and protected and the environment is nourishing.  It’s fun… safe… soothing… and comforting to know that we are cared for by another. And then things change. Sometimes we feel too cramped and we reach out in search of greener pastures.  Other times we are extricated from the womb by unforeseen forces. […]

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What About “Unconscious Coupling?”

I have to say, I’m ecstatic about Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin’s “conscious uncoupling”.  While the public reactions are mixed, the general buzz is wonderful.  As a culture, we NEED to talk more about this stuff.  Let’s keep it rolling please.  Let’s bring divorce out of the shadows and continue to discuss and dissect it.  It is, after all, a fact of life for millions. …But with all the existing coverage of the topic, I didn’t sit down today to write about conscious uncoupling (which is really just a fancy way of saying GOOD Divorce™).  Quite the opposite, in fact. […]

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Someone Asked Me To Marry Them. And I Said “Yes!”

No, I’m not getting married.  I’ve agreed to preside over a self-uniting ceremony for a friend and her fiance.  Not a bad gig for a Divorce Encouragist, huh? I met Ellen several years ago, when we were both legally married.  Since then, we’ve each signed “I don’t anymore,” reclaimed our birth names, and moved on (and up) in a variety of ways. When Ellen met Andrew, circumstances were quite forbidding in terms of a serious relationship.  Yet, amazingly, the stars aligned for them.  After more than a year of domestic bliss, he popped the question, and she agreed to become […]

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Crescent Lunge

What a Crescent Lunge Taught Me About Love

One Saturday morning in a yoga class, I rose into a crescent lunge and prepared to bend back, possibly far enough to peek at the wall behind me. “Sink into your hips, and build the pose,” my teacher instructed.  She explained how important it is to ground down in order to feel the energy rise up.  She stressed strength in the core as she told us to grow taller on the inhale and open our hearts as we exhaled.  (in yoga, as in life, “Inhale:  grow taller.  Exhale:  go deeper.)  “Don’t just jack your back,” she cautioned.  “You’ll hurt yourself.” […]

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