I Don’t Care What’s “Fair” In Divorce Settlements

When people talk about divorce settlements, they use words like “equitable” and “fair” and “good” and “get” and “normal” and “win”. Confession:  I hate those words. I hate them because they reduce the human process to simple mathematics and/or a prize to be won or lost. But really, it’s all so much more complicated, and also so much more simple, than that. Quick story: My ex-husband and I had a decent pile of assets. We owned two houses and a business that operated in multiple locations. To put it most simply, an “equitable” settlement would have meant that we both walked […]

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Awakening After Divorce: An Interview with Michael Smith

Divorce can prompt a lot of change in your life. Your family changes. Your friendships change. You might change where you live. Your financial picture changes… As the elements of your Old Life fall away, a new way of being begins to take shape. And, within this evolution lies an opening to your deeper Being. To learn a little more about this spiritual opportunity in divorce, I spent some time talking to Michael Smith. He’s an awareness coach who works to lead individuals to awaken to a new way of living, loving and being. Our conversation below contains discussion around day-to-day […]

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Old Photos

What To Do With Old Photos

My family wasn’t good at keeping albums. Over the years, our collection of old photos piled up in a cardboard Avon box that lived in the attic. Every so often, the bulging box would make an appearance and my mom, sister and I would paw through the printed pics. We’d smile and reminisce as we passed around images of days gone by. Pictures from my parents’ wedding were in that box too. They were protected by a brown paper bag at the bottom of the pile. Sometimes we’d bring those into the light as well. For me, those photos were simply […]

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Reasons to Block Your Ex on Social Media

Social media has added a wonderful/awful element to our lives. We’re digitally connected while physically estranged from those we’re close to. We can easily become angrily (or amorously) entwined with people we’ve never met. And, we can both feed and receive information to/from The Ex. [Sigh] There are various reasons why separated couples might choose to remain connected on social media. The most popular reason is likely that they share children and social channels provide casual connection for all family members. And naturally, some couples who split amicably choose to remain friends and therefore keep their social connection. But there […]

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PA Divorce Law Has Changed

I got divorced in Pennsylvania in 2006. At the time, I was fairly ignorant to the specifics of PA divorce law. In July of that year I made a phone call to a lawyer… he sent me some papers… I signed things and sent a check… then I think I signed some other things… and in November I received a sealed divorce decree.  The whole process had taken less than four months. But, as I later learned, my experience wasn’t typical. Over the following years, I met more and more people who waited more than two years for their divorce […]

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