Conflict Is A Canyon

You don’t have to be divorced to know conflict.  We have conflicts with people in all areas of our lives:  our parents, children, coworkers, cashiers, neighbors, friends, friends-of-friends, random people on Facebook… this list goes on… There are different ways to deal with conflict.  Some conflicts can be avoided.  Sometimes people dig their heels in and compete.  Sometimes they back down and accommodate.  Some conflicts are solved via simple compromise (although that usually isn’t ideal). Most of the time, true peace and healing (for both sides) comes from collaboration.  That is, when both sides are willing to sit down and dive […]

Continue reading

Oral Surgery and Emotional Wounds (Part 2)

More Lessons Learned as My Oral Saga Continued In Part 1 of this post, I wrote about emotional wounds and the misery that followed my gum graft surgery. I’m sorry to report that things did not get better after that. The Friday night after my Monday morning procedure, the pain in my palate got worse. Saturday, the swelling had subsided and I could cry, so I did. Every day.  It hurt to breathe. Eating was agony. Talking wasn’t much better. The area around the incision swelled and became red. I called the periodontist’s office. I sent a photo. They told […]

Continue reading

Oral Surgery and Emotional Wounds (Part 1)

Oral Surgery Sucks (and so does heartbreak) For several years I’ve been monitoring some gum recession in my mouth (a known side effect of orthodontia). Late last year, the issue worsened to the point where I was willing to consult a periodontist. Earlier this month, I had gum graft surgery. I was nervous going in. The novocaine shots were awful. The procedure itself was nerve-wracking. When it was done, I was left with a wound on the top of my mouth and a bunch of new tissue packed and stitched around my lower front teeth. What followed was not fun. I […]

Continue reading

Is Joint Custody Best?

I’ve seen a lot of headlines about states that are moving towards automatic joint custody for divorced parents. And there’s always a lot of cheers… and a lot of jeers. This is big news in the communities devoted to Fathers’ Rights. Men usually cheer because this prescription will save fathers a lengthy and expensive court battle if they want to share parenting time equally with their ex. The women’s communities are a bit more divided on this issue of 50/50 joint custody. Some women strongly believe their children are not safe with their ex. They insist, for the wellbeing of the children, […]

Continue reading
no divorce coach needed

Why You Don’t Need a Divorce Coach

  I’m a divorce coach. But do you need a divorce coach?  Nope, you don’t. Don’t get me wrong. Divorce coaches are awesome allies in helping their clients take productive steps to create a better future. They certainly have a lot to offer and can help you feel and do better. But here’s the thing…  Those going through divorce are often bombarded with advice:  call this lawyer, it’s better if you get this judge, move out, don’t move out, empty the bank account, hire a private investigator or a forensic accountant, work with a divorce coach…. The list goes on. I’m […]

Continue reading