Love Like You’ve Never Been Hurt …?

I’ve heard this Love Quote said both ways:

Love Like You’ve Never Been Hurt

Love Like You’ll Never Get Hurt

I think they’re both dumb. (That sounds harsh, I know)

Of course, I enjoy the pretty pictures and the fantasy sentiment. And I like the often-accompanying messages about dancing like nobody’s watching and singing like you don’t need the money. I get it. It’s all about living from the heart and in the moment.

But, the thing about being hurt… well, I think the existence of past and future hurts can enhance a partnership, not detract from it.

To quote Glennon Doyle Melton:

“Grief is love’s souvenir. It’s our proof that we once loved. Grief is the receipt we wave in the air that says to the world:  Look! Love was once mine. I love well. Here is my proof that I paid the price.”

In that light, pain from the past is nothing to be ashamed of. I know, when you’re going through it, it pretty much sucks. But healing takes place over time. Eventually the wound becomes a scar, and those bittersweet memories become part of us. They make us a little more wise, a little more human and… in an odd way, they make us more whole.

“After a while, you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul…” (this is a great poem by Veronica A. Shoffstall. you can read it here)

I don’t want to “love like I’ve never been hurt.” I prefer to love with the maturity born of emotional agony.

Then there’s the threat of being hurt in the future. It’s a big, ugly, and valid threat. And nobody wants to think about the end of a relationship when the relationship feels good. But the truth is that we never know what’s around the corner, and you wouldn’t want to take a good situation for granted.

“Memento Mori” (remember, you die) reminds us to “Carpe Diem!” (seize the day)

As in life, so in romance.

My point:  Learn your lessons and love in the moment. Not as if pain doesn’t exist, but because it does.