It’s that time again: the new toys have been put away; leftovers have been devoured and decorations packed up. As the kids head back to school, moms and dads are heading to their attorneys’ offices to begin separation proceedings.
It’s true. Many couples made the decision to divorce towards the end of 2015, but they didn’t want to ruin the holidays for their families. The result is a predicted 300% increase in divorce inquiries this month.
For those who’ve decided to evolve, apart, in 2016, I wish you the following…
Self Care– Make a regular date to take care of yourself. Learn to be alone, and to love your own company. Take time to rest and relax as these are vital to the healing process. Rediscover forgotten hobbies and indulge. Celebrate You and the new life you are creating.
An Alternate Perspective– One facet that makes divorce so difficult is the fact that each person sees things differently. Make a point to step outside your own shoes and consider how your ex and your children might be processing the same information. A new perspective can inspire compassion, which can go a long way in productive communication.
Personal Empowerment– Too many are all-too willing to hand over their power and allow attorneys, evaluators and judges to make decisions for their family. Although those characters might be experts in Family Law, you and your ex are the experts in Your Family. I wish you the foresight and fortitude to work together through this challenging time.
An Appropriate Support System– Hating isn’t healing, and anyone helping you hate is keeping you stuck. May you find compassionate encouragement in the arms of your friends and family, and productive empowerment from the hired help of lawyers, mediators, financial planners, coaches, therapists, etc.
Patience– Divorce is a birthing process, and labor takes time.
Courage– If you’ve taken the steps toward separation, you already have courage 🙂 The key will be remembering this and tapping into your reserves as you face the challenges that pave the way to your new life.
Overall, I’m feeling hopeful that 2016 will be a great year to separate. There are more resources than ever before to help couples navigate this trying time in the most positive way possible. Mediation and Collaborative Law are gaining in popularity, leading to reduced emotional and financial costs. The definition of a “family” has broadened in wonderful ways, the effect of which weakens societal shaming.
If you’re new to the Divorce Club, welcome! Best wishes to you as your process unfolds. And if there’s anything I can do to help you, let me know.