Someone Asked Me To Marry Them. And I Said “Yes!”

No, I’m not getting married. I’ve agreed to preside over a self-uniting ceremony for a friend and her fiance. Not a bad gig for a Divorce Encouragist, huh? I met Ellen several years ago when we were both legally married. Since then, we’ve each signed “I don’t anymore,” reclaimed our birth names, and moved on (and up) in a variety of ways. When Ellen met Andrew, circumstances were quite forbidding in terms of a serious relationship. Yet, amazingly, the stars aligned for them. After more than a year of domestic bliss, he popped the question with a ring similar to […]

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The Right Thing is… Painful

A few weeks ago, I watched the movie, The Vicious Kind.  In a closing scene, an adulterous and alienating father stops short of confessing and apologizing to his youngest son. “Sometimes people do things that they know are wrong,” he began.  “But they just do them anyway.  Because to do the right thing would be too painful.” His explanation grabbed me and left me contemplating the words for days.   It wasn’t entirely a new concept for me.  For years, I’ve been touting the phrase, “hurting people hurt people.”  But… this was… different. “To do the right thing would be too […]

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Affairs, Apologies and Opinions

Last month, Rielle Hunter apologized for her affair with John Edwards.  She also announced a new book— a kind of amendment to her first book, in which she annotates her regrets.  The announcement was met with mixed reviews. Some cheered for Ms. Hunter’s public act, while others suggested her effort was too little, too late.  Personally, I’m of the opinion that her apology to the masses was a courageous move.  I do question her sincerity, given the fact that she stands to profit from this endeavor.  … And I also think that what we think doesn’t much matter. Once upon […]

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Self-Love and My Solo Vacation

I spent the first week of October on Cape Cod. Alone. And it was beyond wonderful. Unlike last year’s trip, which was haunted by fading (sometimes painful) memories of love-gone-wrong, this vacation was All About Me. I took advantage this freedom in a variety of ways….     I began most mornings with a barefoot sunrise stroll.   I spent hours engrossed in oh-so-appropriate beach reading. Depending on what the weather was doing that day, I was tempted to break out the gorgeous modest swimwear pieces that I had bought for this very scenario. I wouldn’t want them to go […]

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Book: And One Last Thing…

A couple weeks ago, I made another solo trip to Cape Cod (more on that later). While driving, I listened to And One Last Thing… by Molly Harper to keep me awake.  I love a good divorce story, and this one contained just the right amount of tragedy, comedy and hope. The book  tells the story of Lacey Terwilliger, a southern housewife who is shocked to discover that her husband has been sleeping with his secretary.  When the tears subside and the anger sets in, Lacey deals with the situation by making a very public (and hilarious!) announcement to her […]

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