Another Guest Post! Not so personal this time… below, Sarah Wood provides some tips for women about how to recover from a divorce…
Tips for Women on How to Recover Post Divorce
Things are never easy when a marriage ends. No matter what is the reason behind the divorce and whether you wanted it or not, a divorce can turn your world upside down. Divorce triggers all kinds of disturbing emotions and makes things worse. However, there are plenty of things that you can do to get over this difficult phase of life and finally move on. Learn from experience and grow up as a better person and a good human.
The reason divorce hurts so much is because it represents the loss of a relationship; shattered dreams and commitments. When a person gets married after a romantic affair and the marriage fails, it brings stress, disappointment and grief in your life and it makes difficult to lead a normal life.
Given below are some tips on how to recover post divorce:
- Grieve completely: Let go your emotions. Holding on to bad feelings and emotions will not help in any way. You need to understand that these feelings are strong but they won’t last forever. The best way to get over with these emotions is to grieve for the loss of the loved ones with whom you took oath to spend your life. Getting past these disturbing emotions will put you in a better place to take hold of your life.
- Grieve for the shattered dreams: When divorce happens, it shatters all the dreams and your future plans that you had for your marriage. When two people come together in a committed relation, dreams and hopes are created. You won’t be able to overcome or simply let go of the dreams easily as those dreams are a guide for the future. So no matter if the relationship has gone astray, those dreams and hopes are not dead; just the relation is. Mourn for the loss of relation and move on. You need to understand that you can recreate these dreams with someone else.
- Identify and spend time with a person whom you know is able to understand your feelings with care and love and acceptance. When recovering from a divorce, it is very important for you to speak your mind as much as you can. If you have a person with whom you can communicate well and share all your feelings, then it can work as magic in the recovery process. Speaking your mind will help you heal and let go all those dark emotions.
- People make the mistake of jumping from one relation to other after a divorce. This is wrong. If you do so you will end up finding someone similar to the ex spouse. Instead of doing this, give yourself time to heal. Think of the mistakes that brought an end to the relation. This process of self-discovery will not only help you heal but will also prevent you from repeating those mistakes. You need to be completely honest with yourself. Playing the blame game will not help in any way. Take responsibility for the mistakes you made and rectify those faults.
- There is no point keeping hard feelings for your ex spouse. Remember the good time you and your spouse spent together. Carrying an emotional baggage is not going to help any way, and it is best to get rid of it rather than staying buried under it.
- Indulge yourself in completing any other dreams or aspirations that you left in between because of marital responsibilities. Get the education degree that you always wanted or that holiday destination that you dream to go to. Doing so will help you get past the negativity of the divorce and you will be able to heal better.
- Join a divorce support group. A divorce support group (read here more on divorce support groups) is a group of people who have gone through the agony of divorce and have come together to help those who are recently divorced or going through it. Here you will be able to talk about all the mixed emotions you are going through. Free flow of emotions will take out the negativity from you. At a divorce support group you can learn how to make a fresh start of life after divorce.
- Divorce is not a crisis but a legal process. It is better if you let the emotions die with the legal process. Move out of the crisis mode as soon as possible and get a grip on your life. Involve yourself in other priority matters like your personal finance. If you get hold of your finances then you can get a grip on your life more easily.
I am Sarah Wood. I work as a divorce lawyer and like to help people in getting information about divorce. Connect with me on Google+ if you want to have any more information.