Earlier today I was listening to an interview between Cheryl Richardson and Iyanla Vanzant* and I heard something that caused me to hit the pause button and reflect for minutes on end…
They were discussing the concept of “no sacred cows” and stating that respect is always necessary, even in relationships with family members. Iyanla was recounting a personal story involving a conflict with her grandson and she stated, as if she were speaking to him directly:
“I love you very, very much. I love you. And I have given you everything that I could. Please forgive me if I wasn’t who you needed… I’m still gonna love you. But I’m complete.”
Her sentiment struck me with a force I wasn’t prepared for. My vision blurred with tears as I felt the sting of old wounds, awakened by her words. How appropriate for separating couples, I thought.
Pain and anger so often drive us to declare war. And what purpose does that serve? Regardless of what side of the door you’re on, the truth is the same: Love, though present, is not enough. And we don’t need another person to make us whole.
The key to Peace is to find your Self and release the other person from your expectations. Accept what is. Breathe, love, forgive and move on. You are complete.
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*If you’re interested in the full interview, you can listen here.
And please excuse my ego for just a moment as I remind you that you can now follow my Facebook page for updates, blog posts and more.
“Love, though present, is not enough.”
If there is one phrase that I am growing extremely tired of its “Love will find a way”.
No love will not find a way, it doesn’t have a GPS and can’t find its way out of a wet paper bag.
I believe that notion, alone, has led a society to believe that love is in, and of itself, all that’s necessary making relationships effortless and present as long as the warm and fuzzy’s are present. But taking that to its final conclusion that also means that when love, or specifically those feelings, are gone then the way is lost and it’s gone forever.
Right on. My experience has shown that love alone often leads to highly dysfunctional and depressed relationships. If “love will find a way” or “love is all you need”, does that mean it’s OK to lie, cheat, abuse, etc? I think not.
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