I Support Divorced Dads

I refuse to believe all that venomous slander I hear about divorced dads…. Disneyland Dads… Deadbeat Dads… and everything in between.   I live with a divorced dad- and he’s fabulous.  My own father wasn’t so bad…. and Suzy’s dad… and Greg’s dad…. (note: Suzy and Greg are not real people, but I could likely fill a page of divorced kids/dads who are not/did not have a bad experience)

  • It cannot possibly be easy to be the father of children residing with a woman who hates you. (I’ll stay off the PAS Soapbox and leave it at that.)
  • Dads who live a great distance from their kids have it especially tough because access to their children is severely limited (social media can really help here!).  And why do they live far away?  Because they had to move to get a better job? Or they needed to relocate to a less expensive area?  Or Mom moved the kids back to her own hometown?  Nothing to be held against him there…
  • Due to the limited amount of time divorced dads spend with their children, it’s terribly important to maximize every second.  Sometimes this means trips to the islands… or the petting zoo… or spending money to buy Rock Band so Dad can play drums while Danny sings.  Sometimes it means nature walks or chocolate chip pancakes at a quiet diner.   If the intent is pure, there’s no need to reason that Dad is buying his child’s affection- or that he is a cheapskate- or that he doesn’t care about his child’s health/wellbeing.
  • Some dads have been ordered to pay extremely large support premiums.  Sometimes, this amount is too much and Dad can’t afford to support himself.  This is horribly unfortunate and the cause of much depression.  It’s not as simple as making a Deadbeat vs Superior Parent argument.
  • I’m no PhD, however I’ve done enough relationship research to learn that people tend to perform on par with others’ expectations.  If I expect I’m listening to a liar then I will not believe a word that person says– therefore proving that my assumption is correct.  Umm… or does it?  Not really, right?

Now, of course I’m not suggesting that there are no less-than-ideal divorced fathers out there.  I’m simply proposing that there are at least 2 sides to every story… and I’m not one to automatically side with Mom.

support divorced dads

Unfortunately, I haven’t seen any of these in my favorite retail locations- so I made this one at http://www.supportourribbons.com/ (I’m aware that these magnets are rapidly fading out of style.  BUT, if you truly support a cause, sometimes you need to go against the grain. 😉 )

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  1. No, definitely not all bad. I think it makes a huge difference if the parenting agreement and financial settlement can be negotiated from the perspective of the best interests of the child/children. Too often, it’s about what’s in it for me.

  2. I too, live with a divorce dad. And I see how he is with his step kids and then I hear the crazy unbelievable things that his ex says about him as a dad. And I see how hard it is on him to know he is constantly being run down. So there are great dads out there who try really hard and are up against a wall.

    People need to realize that those ex’s are half your child. When you run them down you are running down part of them. Careful don’t hurt them, they have been hurt enough.

  3. Pingback: Buddhist Divorce Workshop « The Divorce Encouragist

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