Why is it that when I talk to someone about their divorce, I feel the need to lower my voice?
Why is the Divorce Announcement never as jovial as the Baby Announcement?
Why do we congratulate someone who says, “I’m bored. I’m going to take some college courses,”?
And yet, when a person says, “I’m suffocating. I want a divorce,” we sush them and ask if they’ve considered counseling?
I was in a store a few days ago and I glanced at the magazines as I passed the rack. I stopped to count- there were 7 (seven!) shiny booklets devoted to the topic of marriage. Not one about divorce. Headlines referenced the Twilight Saga, bathroom renovations, sexy garb and fast cars…. even gynecological concerns (!!!!) – but not a single mention of the D-word.
Am I the only one who thinks “Co-Parenting Quick Tips” is as much a relevant headline as Cosmetic Counseling? (yes, i know this information is available online and in the Self-Help section of your local book store… i’m suggesting it be readily observable alongside Kate’s New ‘Do)
Does anyone have a guess as to when we will overcome the denial and accept this reality of life? The sooner we do, the better.
Brilliant! Brilliant!
Yes. We need divorce and break-up magazines. “Divorce Today” could sit alongside “Divorcees’ Quarterly” and “Modern Breakup”.
What a delicious idea!
Great names!
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I hear ya. I’m getting all kinds of flack for wanting a divorce.. much of if from very good friends who are divorced themselves, and KNOW how messed up my marriage has been for years… but, for whatever reasons, (often religous) they still feel it their duty to lecture me on the sanctity or marriage and committments… tell me how there’s “slim pickings” out there… and, basically make me feel guilty for wanting out. Of course, none of them think THEY made a mistake in their own divorces. What is UP with that???
I’m always amazed by the perception that people seeking a divorce haven’t thoroughly thought it through. In many cases, the decision comes after years of unsuccessful “trying”.
It’s true. I find myself whispering the word, too.
Recently, though, I was changing my name at my school admin office and the lady behind the counter said, “Got married, huh?” I laughed and said, “Even better: divorced.” She looked a little caught off guard. I laughed, though. 🙂
I had many similar experiences when I changed my name. People seemed extremely uncomfortable with the fact that I was smiling- they wanted to offer sympathy and i simply was not accepting it.
I do not like when asked if I want counseling. People think counseling and vacationing will magically fix everything. They think that I just thought of it overnight. If a friend of mine tells me I want a divorce…I will say…I want you to be happy and have my support. No more =)
I trust that by the time a couple is ready to publicly announce the D-Word, they’ve already exhausted all other options. Support is what’s really needed as they begin to separate and pick up the pieces.