On this, the eve of Thanksgiving, I am reflecting (as we all should) on those things in my life for which I am truly grateful. In keeping with traditional subject matter for this outlet, I’d like to write about my parents:
My parents have been divorced, officially, for 15 years. Tomorrow, I intend to share Thanksgiving dinner with them- at the same table. Because, after all the turmoil precipitated by their separation, they have remained friends.
I’m grateful that my parents decided to separate- after… I don’t know how long... of feeling that heavy tension when they were both in the house, the sarcastically muttered comments, the fights that woke me up in the middle of the night….
Hurray for my parents- for showing me that you don’t have to always grin and bear it- that there’s a way out. And sometimes, it’s infinitely more rewarding to take the risk for an emotionally healthy existence.
I am thankful that my mom, back in 1993, never told me that my dad’s new girlfriend was a whore. And I’m glad she didn’t tell me that her new boyfriend was our Savior.
I’m grateful that my dad didn’t point out the shortcomings of my mom’s new boyfriend. And that he didn’t comment on what she did with the support money he gave her (at least, he didn’t comment to me).
I’m grateful for those nights with my mom and sister, eating cold spaghetti in the kitchen, with our fingers, and talking about… whatever… (this never would have happened when we were all still pretending to be the Cleavers)
I’m grateful for the camping trips with my dad. And his girlfriend. And her daughter. And their dogs.
I’m so happy to have the memories of those Friday nights with my parents and sister- hanging out on the porch, sharing beverages and daily events before Transition Time.
I’m thankful for my mom, getting up from her bed and giving me a hug while telling me “it’s not your fault…” and “time heals all wounds and we’re going to get through this.” (it was one of my weaker moments and still brings tears to my eyes)
I’m grateful for the family wisdom: “You do what you have to do and things have a way of working out.”
I’m grateful for my family, which has expanded and contracted through many relationship-related changes over the past couple decades.
I’m thankful for the lessons learned. For the strength displayed to me. For the imparted wisdom which allows me to be who I am today.
Thank you Mom and Dad, for the opportunity to see our family, our house– the world– from a different perspective.